Like swarms of ants leaving their nest,
They dare to steal.
A poor victim,
It seems I am,
Falling into the pit they set,
I was eaten away by darkness.
Money, love, time,
Health, life, property,
Safety, relationship, assurance,
Were not your targets,
Everything I owned,
Were as it were,
But reality showed me,
I was no longer me.
Taken by the wind,
Lost in the hurricane,
Swept away by the storm,
Gentle eyes, full of love,
Were not directed my way,
Glares instead of stares,
Pierced me like spears.
Jim, Jim, I yearned out,
Where've your promises gone?
I no longer remember your comforting warmth,
No longer recall your husky voice,
You were in their embrace,
That warm, safe place
Where I long to be, where I belong,
Tell me why, why it seems so far now?
You were brimming with happiness,
I yelled and lunged at you,
They hurt me, I fell,
My bones fractured, my heart shattered.
Like trash, I was pushed away,
They detest my touch, they hate my whole being,
I am disgusting, weird and wrong,
Not worth a look.
With hate, I look at you fake stealer,
Wearing that smile, mimicked from me,
Stop that, I don't look like that,
Return it, return it,
That's mine, everything,
I detest you, I beg of you,
Can I kill you?
You smiled at me,
Introduced yourself with my name,
And left with a sickening grin,
Not forgetting your tight hold on them.
By you, him her
Family, friends, Jim,
They forgotten me, deceived by lies.
Wake up, wake up,
Can't you see?
I am here,
I, the real one.
Daggers sink into my skin,
Poison flowed through my body,
Hopelessness gnawed at me,
I was broken.
Despair befriended me, tears now a fountain,
Lost, I was lost,
In this dark, terrifying maze,
Where there's no way out.
Wounded by ally turned enemies, I bled and bled,
It isn't healing, this aching heart of mine,
Maybe it would be better, to gouge it out,
Rather than it hurting every time it beats.
The road to the place called home,
Was paved with thorns,
Sunlight nowhere to be found,
Only darkness, darkness and darkness.
Cut off, cut off, all ties were cut off,
I was unwillingly freed from all this precious ties,
The scars from being tied, were slowly healing,
Yet, new scars were made, from hate and anguish.
Stuck, stuck, in this lonely abyss,
I am caged, I am trapped,
In this cold, painful hell,
Like a bird with broken wings.
I can't breathe, I can't breathe,
Drowned in despair, suffocated by envy,
Consumed by rage, freedom taken away,
I am powerless, what can I do?
I glanced down and leaped,
Hoping to gain your attention, your attentions,
And I realized the pain,
Wasn't close to the pain you inflicted.
No tears were shed, only laughter and sneers,
I guess no one grieves over trash,
They were relieved seeing my muffled pants,
As my breathing hitched and my body lukewarm.
I died, I died, but there's no difference,
To them, 'I' am still alive,
The one that died were no one,
A nobody with no existence.
This familiar world of mine, crumbled into nothingless,
I am not worthy to stay,
And no place is willing to accept me,
The world has abandoned me.
I took a leap of faith, into this familiar lonely abyss,
Where no one knows and no one will ever reach,
Will light shine through this place?
Will I ever see hope?