Different

It happened...again. Once again...it occurred once again. The same thing, the same cycle, the never-changing routine. How long has this cycle been going on and on?

Every single time he was reincarnated, nothing ever changes.

He did nothing as he watched. With eyes filled with mixed emotions. Watched with sadness as she gave her love to another, watched with envy as she left him, watched with pain as she fell to her knees and went to a different world. He could only watch and do nothing to change it. Nothing at all as he felt the same pain over and over again.

Sometimes he wonders is fate toying with him. Or is it that God hates him?

She was loved by another, she flashed her rare and gentle smiles he had been longing at others...but not him. It was hard, sad, miserable, painful. Yet, what could he possibly do?

Why? Why won't it ever change? Will it last forever?

He closed his eyes, waiting for his fate to come once again. Yet, he couldn't stop the thoughts from rushing through him. Because, after all, he was unable to change his own fate. No one could and no one will.

But he doesn't regret it nor does it hate it.

Going through the same thing over and over again, each time with a new and different emotion. He felt pained but still chose to not turn away from his fate. But not even once had he felt regret. Of all the mixed and different emotions, regret wasn't one of it.

Because it was worth it.

It was worth it to see her, to watch her, to even look at her. It was worth it to talk to her – even if it's just cold words; see her – even if it’s just from far away. But it was still worth everything in this world just for the sake of all these insignificant things.

With that thought in mind, he went through the path of reincarnation once again.

He woke up with everything being the same again. He was once again him. And she too, was still the same her.

Things went the same way.

He knew and expected it to be the same. And it really did. Nothing had changed. Nothing at all.

It hurts.



His heart sank when the most painful moment came. It ached so badly knowing it was never going to change. Yet, he couldn't kill off the glint of hope in his heart.

But there was still hope in his heart.

Maybe, just maybe...this time it would change? He had hoped but this 'hope' of his was trampled over and over again. It never did come true.

And then he continued to live on.

Once again, he watched her growth, how she lived, how she got hurt, how she laughed. He pretended to be the same as always, ignoring his aching heart. Sometimes he wonders if life was ever going to end.

The same thing came again.

The lady was coming to the age of considering marriage. But this time, he turned away from all these. He had enough of these, no more.

But he couldn't believe it when he felt arms wrapping around him.

Warm. It was warm. The warmth he had always been longing for. Tears cascaded down his cheeks. His bangs shadowing his face.

'Why...?'

'I had seen enough.' '...' He realized something had changed. It was different this time.

And it turned out that this time, she had been born differently.

He was given the knowledge of him being reincarnated so many times. Not only that, she realized the looks he was giving him, she realized how fake he could be sometimes, she realized how sad his eyes were.

It was complicated but she understood it.

Slowly, she realized she too, had started developing a different feeling towards him. She had the urge to change everything. To wipe the pained expression away from his face.

And things really did change.

'This time, I'll change everything.' '...Thank you.' He hugged her back tighter, afraid that she might disappear if he lets go.

And it remained the same way ever since then.

They got to know more about each other. Got to know what was deep inside their hearts. They promised each other that they will from now on be reincarnated together. And that they will never ever part again.

It was the first time in his never ending life to face something different.

She chose to never ever rest in peace, to never go to heaven or hell. So that she could be reincarnated with him again and again. Just to always be with him.