I'd love to hear ANYONE'S thoughts! Thanks in advance! I'm going to work!

I...am....very....distracted...by...the...overuse...of...ellipsis....

Hahahah! Fun stuff! I feel a strong connection to this piece, as Roti is my all-time favourite food in the world (I'm Canadian, so it's likely not as common here as other parts of the world). You got a chuckle or two out of me and i found this to be quite creative in a light and easily digestible way! Keep writing! -Patrick

Hahah i didn't see where this was going till the end. Well done! Also i spotted two typos: #1) "...colorful mazes he had bee sent through" - I think you forgot an 'N' #2) "Everyday that he would wait for that chance..." - Every day is never one word! Otherwise...very good job! Your [Crit] post on reddit of this is actually what brought me to this site, and i'm looking forward to participating! Keep writing! -Patrick

Definitely potential, but far too much repetition. You use the word 'film' ten times in the first paragraph, and the phrase 'home alone film' (which doesn't make a whole lot of sense, in english) six times in the first paragraph. You are setting some scenes and your exposition is pretty good, but i think you need to find some creative and different ways of saying certain things, rather than repeating the same words/phrases over and over which can be very distracting. Hope that helps! Keep writing! -Patrick