The lover I never knew

As i open my eyes, i suddenly feel the urge to close them again. it feels like these walls have eyes, it feels like one of those dreams were you suddenly notice that you are completely naked and in the middle of society. I push myself up from the hard matras which makes it sound more like i'm farting. "Anna! Please wait! you are not ready to get up yet." i hear a voice speaking to me, making me wonder where have i heard that voice before. As i look up to meet his eyes, his voice disappeared and all i could notice is his full lushes lips moving, his water blue eyes frowning as to why i'm looking at him like a lost puppy. " Anna...Anna...Anna!" Still i can see him talking to me but it as if i just can't get myself to speaking back to him. His eyes started to get darker and his mouth moved in slow motion. i openend my mouth to say something but it was to late, they were all gone.

Yes! Please that feels so good! His strong hands softly touching my arm, barely gracing it with his fingers al the way up to my shoulder his thumb slowly gliding up the hollow part of my throat. Tilting back my head giving his big hand more space to... strangle me! Help! Help! why can't i scream please someone i can't breath! "Anna... Anna" I wake up and sit up straight with one swift movement. I can feel my heart pounding out of my chest, the sweat dripping from the side of my head. " Anna please calm down you're ok." He took me into his embrace and held me tight to his chest which smelled like the fresh morning sea breeze. Although i didn't know where i was he was my comfort, i could feel it. He was the one i was dreaming about. "Please tell me what happened to me as i can already see that i'm in the hospital, which tells me that this story will not be having a happy ending."

"Anna" the man with the beautiful blue eyes and dark sun burned skin said, softly touching my arm again almost like in the dream. "You were in a car accident" said the old lady pushing the man aside. "You were in a medically induced coma for more than 3 weeks."

"Alone?" i asked not knowing whether i was asking them or trying to convince myself.

"No Anna, you and Nicolas." She said hesitating and stepping back.

"Well i'm fine and obviously Nicolas is fine as well" i waved my arm towards the man standing with his one hand over his mouth and the other in his side. And as soon as i said that i could feel the temperature drop in the room, the old lady who must be older than 60, very neatly attired and her hair up in a bun dropped into the chair with both her hands over her mouth and started crying.

"Anna, my name is not Nicolas, I am Alex, Nicolas's brother. Do you then not recognize me? This is my mother Silvia, your mother-in-law." While he was speaking to me all i could see was vivid images playing through my thoughts. it's dark outside with flashing lights passing me by, i am crying and he is holding my hand, Nicolas is holding my hand but why am i crying why is he driving so fast?

"Where is he? I need to see him immediately!" out of rage i sprung up from the hospital bed and yanked out the IV that was pulling me back to the bed.

"Anna please sit down! I will explain everything to you just calm down please."

"No! No, no please don't tell me his dead! please don't say it! Don't you dare say it!" and even before he could answer me i already knew the answer. i collapsed onto the floor but he was there for me, he grabbed me and held me tight until i cried myself to sleep.

It was 6 months ago that i lost my husband to which i was married to for 3 months. Nicolas, you were truly the one that got away. Since i got home, i have gained all my memory. The doctors said it was only temporarily due to the head injuries. I sold everything i had which reminded me of Nicolas. I moved out of our house in LA and bought an apartment in Miami, the closest one i could get to the beach. Here i have spend my days siting on the balcony yearning for the touch of the man who's face i never saw, but his touch i'll never forget. Over these past few months i have been receiving calls on my Cell from an unknown number, but i didn't pick it up. i haven't spoken to anyone in almost 5 months now.

"Anna!...Anna!... please open up the door!" i sat on my bed fearing that this was one of those dreams i have where i don't know whether i'm awake or a sleep. But that voice... i looked at my alarm clock which showed 01:30. i jumped up and ran to the door. before i could get myself to look through the peeping hole the banging on the door started again.

"Anna! please i know you're there!" i softly unlocked the door, slowly grabbed the handle and then suddenly swung open the door before he could get another knock in. There he stood with his one hand in the air ready to knock again. His mouth open as if he wants to speak but can't find the words.

"Alex? What? How did you find me?" i felt totally flabbergasted, not knowing whether i was happy to see a familiar face or freaked out that he is standing in my doorway at half past one in the morning.

"Come in before someone calls the police!" i yanked him in by his one arm, closed the door quickly and stood with my back against the door, waiting for him to close his mouth or say something.

"I'm sorry Anna, i have been following you for the last month. I just can't keep away from you any more." he stepped closer to me. taking my unwanted hair out of my face and tucking it behind my ear. His fingers softly gracing the side of my neck. i was sure he could feel my heart beat through his fingertips.

"Alex, please don't " was all i could get out before he pulled me in with his one hand in my neck and the other on my lower back side. His lips was so soft, touching my lips which i kept very shut because i was in shock. i could feel his tung gently brushing against my lips. He slowly pulled away from me and as i opened my eyes i knew he was the man i was dreaming about.

" I can't do this to Nicolas" I said walking to my bed falling flat on my back.

"You can't expect me to just forget that you were the one who walked out on me. Just left me after i told you i was having your baby!" i could hear my screaming echoing in my own ears.

"He was there for me! He supported me after i lost the baby. He loved me no matter what my story was. And i loved you!" i got up from the bed and walked straight up to him. " But you never came back for me! You were to scared of what the people might think!" i caught myself hitting him in the chest with my fists. Tears rolling down my cheeks. "But it seems now is convenient for you to come back and play the hero!" He grabbed my hands which was still hitting him. Pulled me close to his chest and held me tight until i stopped struggling to get loose of his grip and just cried while he was holding me.

"I know you might never forgive me for what i have done. But please know that i realized i have made a mistake. i came back to try and fix it. Please let me fix it. Because when i was gone i realized that i didn't run away because you were pregnant or what the people might think about it. I ran because i was afraid of being the bad father which i had." We were both sitting on the ground, his arms still around me and my face still buried in his chest. i could feel this little boy that was lost because he never knew love. It was then i realized that he was the lover i never knew.