A Perception

An early morning, 21st March,1992
The train was streaming fast...
Ram suddenly woke up....no idea when he dropped off to sleep..

All he seemed to do was sit and brood.

He was still clutching the telegram with his shivering hand.
He still couldn't accept the fact that his mother is no more. With an immense feel of guilt for not being able to be with her during her last moments, he reached for his watch, it was close to 5 in the morning..

The train started slowing down, he could hear the rustling sound...he grabbed his only bag and headed towards the exit. As he stepped down he saw Govind mama standing at a distance waving at him. His good old energetic Govind mama has grown unrecognisably old. The wrinkles on mama's face made him realise the fact that it has been so long he has visited his village. He was fully occupied with his family, children, work....and drowned in the city luxury, he had almost forgot about his village and his old mother..

"How have you been my boy?"

Ram couldn't say a word, but burst into tears..

"I can understand you my child,,, so did your mother. She wanted to see you desperately in her last hours,,,,, but never complained. Always asked me not to disturb you...Come let us go home"

"No mama, I want to go her graveyard"

"Dear, it is all over...you are very late my boy" mama replied with trembling lips.

An old Ambassador was waiting outside, mama has rented out a vehicle to pick him up..

He looked out through the window...his village has developed a lot,,,,
Past the temple, he saw the large banyan tree which is still standing erect and had been there for generations...
The dhoodhwala was distributing milk at the milma store and children had come with their bottles to buy milk...
And the newspaperwala throwing newspaper above the gate...
The heavy monsoon has flooded all the lakes..

"Ram, we are reaching in 15 minutes."

"Mama, she has always longed to see me ,right? It is my fault...only mine..."

"You have a letter my son. She has written it two days before she died." Mama handed him over a piece of paper.

"Meri Beta,
Guess my time has come. I wish you were with me now...
Mama told you are busy at work that you couldn't find time to catch a train here..but it is okay my baby,I can understand you...
You just take care...Mommy just wants you to be happy...

You live for your son...and so did I...
Mommy
"

Regret overruled his sense of pride. He couldn't accept his sense of loss...

He tried to console himself thinking that he had to take up the busy schedule to take care of his family, his children,,,,, but deep inside he knew the eternal fact that he had betrayed his mother...

The car took a turn to his family courtyard. Heidi, his mother's 14 years old dog was at the gate as if desparately waiting for something...He remember, his mother bringing a small dog to home on her way back from temple years back....she told it was abandoned at the roadside. Ram has always hated it...He hates pets.

He got out of the car and walked straight to where him mother was buried..

The yard was all lonely....he slowly walked to the tomb.... the flowers are all dried and yet wet with the morning snow....and there were newspapers lying around it,wet and torn in the rain..and the tomb read... Marsh Barua, died on 18th March,1992
Tears rolled down his cheeks, he has never thought of her feelings..

Hearing a panting voice, he turned back to see his mother's old Heidi running towards the tomb with the morning newspaper...keeping it aside the tomb, Heidi looked at Ram with all pride, his master needs the morning newspaper everyday or else she would be angry...