Conceived Memories

I remember the day
I started off from my granny
to the outside world
Thirteen years I spent with her
Time to fly to my parents
I could see tears rushing to her eyes
Trying to stop it, she would smile
and would pack me everything
concealed in her eternal love
wouldn't say a word
but only prayed for my well-being
patted me on my back
and bid me adieu with heart breaking pain

As I sit back,
those thirteen years,
the golden period in my life
not knowing the dark face of life
not knowing what deceit is
cuddled up only in love
pure and serene love
Not knowing what I am going to miss
I happily stepped out of the house
to the then colourful world
feeling sorry for her tears
but not regret
and never thought I would, like I do

She would play with me
pull me on a Spathe
play hide and seek with me
She would make me life jacket
with coconuts on each side tied to a rope
so that I would float on water
and teach me to swim
She would wash my clothes
down by the lakeside
and I would play around with my life jacket
and things that came floating on water
sprinkling water all over her
She would laugh but never shout

Each day down the time
what she calls thrisandhya
she would recite prayers to me
after which she would feed me
with rice squeezed into balls
and then she would make haste to sleep
On the bed she would recite me stories
Of prince fighting for his princess
of the good old Samaritan
of the cunning minister and how he got trapped
and sometimes of the scary dragons
and the little angels winning them
Now,when I look upon them,they all had a good moral

As the seasons roll over to monsoon
what she calls Edavappathi
past heavy rains, we would run to the mango tree
and she would prepare me dishes
which I have never tasted afterwards
And a dish she would prepare with jack-fruit
heating up in sunlight for days
still mouth-watering, but a buried memory
And thunder lightning, my all-time nightmare
she would cuddle me up under the blanket
in the dim light of kerosene lamp
we would tell each other stories
and fall to sleep all in peace

Festivals I have celebrated with all purity
were those thirteen years I was with her
She would force me up from bed
early morning on Vishu
and we would both walk to the Vishukani
Onam, a week long celebration
we would have children from nearby
plucking flowers, decorating pookalam
On Christmas we would make X'mas tree
with pictures from old books
and paper cut in the form of stars
The Christmas card I got from my dad
I would hang it proudly on the front branch

Years passed by, now when I drive to my office,
I remember how she had taken me to school
She would come back to pick me
We would walk home by the riverside
I would pick all the flowers by the roadside
grab all tiny fruits, rose apple, gooseberry
talk to the ladies working in the fields
play with hen,lamb and everything that came across
sprinkle water and get myself all wet
and then tell her stories from school
the games I played and how I won
the new songs I learned
and she would listen with keen interest

After thirteen long years, I am back,
standing here on the wooden door
waiting for her funeral
tears ran down my cheeks
She has kept all my things as it is
as it had been thirteen years back
the swing I used to play as a kid
She would ask me to swing slowly,
but I never did
The husk tied to the guava tree
so that I could climb up the branches
and the small pond were we bred our fish
She treasured all those, it was me who forgot

I miss you granny...