I never realised I was in neck deep trouble until it hit me straight between the eyes.
All the lies kept piling upon each other until it was an unstable deck. And on the slightest breeze all came tumbling down.
It must be okay to say I fell. I fell deep and hard like the entire gravitational force of earth is concentrating on me alone. And when I fell, there where so many of them standing tall and mocking me, like they knew I had it coming all the time.
Why didn't I see it coming? I was always the one who never made any mistake. But for the last 3 years it seems like i was living a lie. A reality which even I didn't know was a big fat lie.
I had it all. And now, I was stripped of every power I had. My name, my pride, my dignity,my reputation, my love and all my life's worth.
Down where I fell it was all chaos. All the beings were pointing their crooked nose and fingers and saying I was an outcast.
All I could do was curl up in that crater which I fall. I lay there for months hearing the scornful words from every one that passed by. I was called many names. The Harlot,The Pariah, The Black Swan..
Every time I hear those words I cringed and cried. My tears made a pool in the crater. Soon it became a lake. Deep down inside the lake I still lie. Curled up in a ball. A cocoon of myself. But they never forgot about me. They knew I will come out one day and they were all ready to rant about me more. That's when I decided. They didn't lost anything from my fall. It was just me and my loved ones who lost everything. Not everything. Everything was not lost. There was only one thing that was lost. The real me. All the little things that made me where gone.
And when that realisation dawned upon me I decided to let it all go. I will do what I want. I will rise again. I will see places. I will get my place back in the stars. For there are still people who believe in me, who looked upon me and who loved me. That love is all I need to shine bright.
Today I shine brighter than any around me. I do have bits and broken edges around me.. But all those broken edges made me the unique one that I am now.
2 COMMENTS
Susan Jacob
May 18, 2016 - 13:23 Ahhh....thats a bit dark Perfectly coupled words :-)Delma
May 20, 2016 - 07:42 Thank you dear :)