It was a hot, sticky day……I just wanted to lie down, not doing anything. I was thinking of watching a movie, but was too lazy to make the effort. I wanted silence.
Someone knocked at the door, continuously and with a demand that they won’t leave unless I open the door. “Darn, who could it be? It was two in the afternoon. I wish they would just leave!”
Knocking, knocking!!!!!! I could scream! Before I could open the door, an envelope, red as blood, was pushed under the door. I opened it: The front had this face of a devil saying:” It is time for you to come to Lucifer, no more games!” On in the inside there was only my name… “What the hell?” I found it actually amusing: “touché... “weird, getting weirder….” I thought.
When my husband arrived at home, he hardly spoke to me. I don’t know what it is with him lately, it’s as if he grew tired of me. He tells me to go to our room and lay down. Most nights he only buys take away. It tasted stale and old. Why does he buy this crap? He just sits there, saying nothing to me, watching a movie.
Before he fell asleep, the only thing he said was: “Rest now, tomorrow keep up your strength, this will be over shortly. I will bring you a dress for the Halloween party tomorrow evening.” I said nothing, but nod my head in acceptance.
The next afternoon, I found the most beautiful red dress lying on my bed. I love anything with the colour red. The dress was in tatters on one side, I guessed that it was to fit my Halloween character. I made a lot of evert with my makeup, trying to look pale, but yet beautiful at the same time.
People only started to arrive just before 12h00. I didn’t know any of them, but they looked weird, dead, freaky. I felt scared, I tried to find my husband between the other people. He was standing on the other end of the room, dressed like? What? ………. he had this immense sadness on his face tears in his eyes.
I tried to walk over to him, but some man and a woman stopped me. He looked at me, it was as if his eyes were blood red. He had this foul smell about him. She looked half drunk, a hunger in her eyes as if she wanted to devour me…right there!
He spoke to me in this deep voice with lust and anxiousness, yet somewhere in there a gentleness as well:
“Woman”, he said in a husky voice: you never left this house, scared of life, were you?”. The woman laughed with a squeaky voice. Oh, would someone shut her up, really?
I looked at him?” Yeah, so what, why do you care?” He lingered with his lips in my neck, smelling me, with that stench hanging around him. “You never left this house, in life…now woman….” He screamed at the top of his voice: “In death!” He took a deep breath and smiled. “Now woman in death…… you are still here?” They all started laughing and screaming looking at me…… I felt cold, sick, scared......
I looked at my husband. He was crying, falling to his knees: “Please, please, leave! Go with them, you are dead, leave me alone! You are dead! Take her, just take her now!”
I nervously touched my hair: “Say what?”
sheelsdeviOctober 20, 2015 - 18:50 A different treatment that turned out to be so striking...good one
VelantraOctober 20, 2015 - 18:56 Thank you very much, I enjoyed it myself :-)
Sharmishtha ShenoyOctober 20, 2015 - 18:52 Quite a scary story! Good use of the color red to denote danger
VelantraOctober 20, 2015 - 18:54 thank you very much, must admit, i was a bit excited about it myself. :-)
rekhanshiraghavaOctober 20, 2015 - 19:45 Well... Scary indeed... I loved the way u presented and narrated it.... Well written...
VelantraOctober 20, 2015 - 21:14 Thank you very much, I appreciate your comments and input.
nupur27October 21, 2015 - 06:10 Was full of redness and feary combinations!!! Loved it!!! All the best
VelantraOctober 21, 2015 - 11:26 Thank you very much, I appreciate your interest a lot
nupur27October 21, 2015 - 11:58 Thankkiiee see my entry too!! If it scares you;)
celestialmindOctober 21, 2015 - 06:20 Lol...this is freaking interesting; was the main character dead all along? I love the twist in it.
VelantraOctober 21, 2015 - 11:29 Yes, she was dead all along! I had a totally different ending in mind and then when I imagined her looking at her husband, I just felt like that was what I would have said!
celestialmindOctober 22, 2015 - 15:15 Very creative! Good luck n keep it up.
VelantraOctober 22, 2015 - 16:59 Thanks, much appreciated!!!
Lea EbioOctober 21, 2015 - 07:32 it takes me by surprise and great shock when I reached the last part. A very interesting climax, though I feel sad for "her". you did a good job portraying the ghosts as living like a live human...great job velantra!
VelantraOctober 21, 2015 - 11:31 Thanks a lot, just don't asked me how she died, I don't have a clue! Hahahaha....
The Veil of MidnightOctober 21, 2015 - 13:39 I believe that the ending could have used a little more explanation but other than that, amazing
VelantraOctober 21, 2015 - 13:47 Thank you, I had a different ending in mind, like I said to celestialmind. saying more, but then when I imagined her looking at her husband, I just felt like that was what I would have said! next time :-)
VelantraOctober 21, 2015 - 13:48 FOR EVERY ONE WHO UPVOTED MY POST; THANK YOU GUYS/GIRLS :-)
Manahill NaikOctober 22, 2015 - 20:08 LOL whoaaa awesomeeee :D :D i mena theres that pinch of weird scareness and then that thrill mixed with a funny element in the end.. the last dialogue LOL loved ittttt .. oone of the bestttsss <3 <3
VelantraOctober 22, 2015 - 23:17 Thanks, i'm sooooooo glad to hear that......
Manahill NaikOctober 23, 2015 - 12:04 haha no prob :D
JoyOctober 29, 2015 - 07:13 Superb... scary... unexpected climax..beautifully written. ... very nice :)
VelantraOctober 29, 2015 - 10:46 thank you so, so, much and thank you for the vote. xxxxxx
Susan JacobOctober 29, 2015 - 20:42 Creepy....scaryyyyyyyy.....beautifully written.....Good Work :)
VelantraOctober 30, 2015 - 07:13 thanks a lot, I appreciate it sooooooooooooo much, and thank you for the up vote!!!!
mackdonnutOctober 31, 2015 - 09:52 the last part really took my breath naughty narration nice
VelantraOctober 31, 2015 - 16:07 Thank you very much and thank you for the up vote
dotdotdotNovember 16, 2015 - 06:22 ah i feel sick. nice thriller!
VelantraNovember 16, 2015 - 07:01 Thanks, hopefully it means good writing. thanks for all your up votes.
DavidBokoloNovember 21, 2015 - 21:09 You caught my attention with this piece V. Why do the Halloween stories always get creepy? Like this piece Though in its creepiness.
VelantraNovember 22, 2015 - 09:31 I don't know, this was for the Halloween competition..... :-)
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