My thoughts

These are a few thoughts I wrote down in a little book I have. I draw pictures with them, so I wish I could scan and submit it with the pictures, so that you could better understand what it was I tried to say, but here it is: (please note; tenses, paragraphs, or the wording might not make sense, but at that moment, that was the thoughts in my mind).

Page 1:

Please God,

Let the wind,

Be silent and

No one will notice.

Let there grow flowers,

And let them see!

Please God,

Forget the butterfly,

Dead in the garden.

Let there be a new one,

That makes YOU PROUD!!

Lead her

Every day to abundant flowers new.

Where do you find love, look carefully…….

Page 2:

I want to

See me in your eyes,

I want to,

Feel me, in your touch.

I want to hold you,

In my arms,

So you can feel

Me inside, your heart.

I want you

To look into my eyes,

So you can see,

You are my soul.

I want you

To see…..

ME

Just know:

I love you!!!!!

Page 3:

You touch my heart,

You kiss my soul,

Your eyes, shows me my future

You are my……….

Perfect you.

Page 4:

Find love in every moment…….

When I think of you, my love,

My heart fills with the warmth of love

And passion of beautiful days

And things to come,

Spend with you,

In your arms,

In your love,

You, me,

Body and soul…..

ONE!!!!US!!!!

PAGE 5:

This is me touching you,

This is you touching me……

This is me wanting you,

This is you wanting me,

Wanting to be you, wanting me…….

Page 6:

This is the road to eternal love,

It is binding, never ending,

And it is for every step of every day,

For the rest of our lives,

It will guide us,

Sustain us, bind us,

It’s a one way road,

No turning back,

It’s you and me…….

This is the road to our eternal love……..

Page 7:

I found my life in you,

I found my future in you,

I found myself in you,

I found love in you,

I found you,

I found……

Page 8:

Love has an ending…..

Is there also a new beginning?

What did I wish for?

What is Gods wish?

He wants to hold me….

Did gold and silver buy me love?

My chamber is empty…….

I was searching in the desert….

I cannot find you,

I am but a stranger to you,

Did God allow you into my soul?

People do not know their boundaries,

Pain has no boundaries……..

HE WANTS YOU TO SEE!!!!!!

ME!!!!!!!!

Page 9:

I lost my way,

The end of the beginning……

I don’t know where I’m going,

I cannot find my way…..

Where am I?

Who am I?

My life is a confusion of circles,

I’m running from one circle to another…..

Sometimes you need to die,

To be born again.

Page 10:

Please help me find my words again,

And please help my soul,

I want to find myself,

In my words,

Because they give me peace,

And they fill my soul……

Page 11:

I was walking in the garden,

It was the garden of love….

I looked at all the beautiful flowers

And I saw myself,

I saw Gods flower……

I was perfect, every little bud,

Shaped by His Hands, perfect colourful,

I was Gods flower…..

In Gods perfect garden of love….

He looked down on me,

I smiled at Him

And He smiled back…..

Page 12:

There is no desert in me,

Though I walk in the desert…..

There is no garden within me,

Though I’m a flower in the garden……..

There is no river in me,

Though I cry a river of tears……

There is no animal within me,

Though I fight like a lion……

There is no wind within me,

Though I run from fear……..

There is no fire within me,

Though I burn with desire for love………

I am but a person,

Walking through a dessert, fighting, with fears, tears,

Into a garden, being like a flower,

Wanting to be loved,

With everything within me……

How long do we love?

A moment?

Forever?

Until you decide to stop loving?

Page 13:

Life is a circle of moments,

Caught in a spiral of time…..

Moments in circles, broken, forgotten……

Moments too much for a circle,

Making it explode into a million small circles…….

Too much to handle……

If granted one wish,

But to walk up a spiral, choosing….

Your circles changing your moments…..

The smallest circles, wishing it was bigger….

To put inside, all the moments to forgive:

YOURSELF

PAGE 14:

Happiness is a choice

The butterfly is lost in the garden……

There is no flowers…..

Love is lost, I’m lost….

Warmth: coldness

I never saw me in your eyes,

I never felt me in your touch……

You don’t know, you are still my soul….

Love: hate

I once wrote:

Where do you find love?

Look carefully……

Pain, sad……..

I wanted to find my life,

My future in you!!!!!!!

I didn’t find myself in you…….

Every day is moments lost,

Love lost,

People braking bubbles of love…..

Sadness: happiness

Did you watch me? Did I watch you?

Did we touch?

Did I want to be you, wanting to be me?

I’m counting days, months, years…..

Did you love me, did you adore me?

NEVER?

Your eyes hide my future……I’m not free!!!!!!

Every day is moments lost, love lost,

People breaking bubbles of love…..

I lost love, the thoughts of you,

The passion, your love, body and soul, us……..

The road to our eternal love…. Never ending….. That bind us…..

BROKE!!!!!!

Page 15:

I don’t believe it’s true!!!!!

My words are empty,

My mind confused,

I’m lost, I am even silent,

Walking in the garden…….

I can’t find myself,

I don’t see colours, flowers,

Did I turn into a flower?

Waning away, to a small little nothing,

That no one will notice?

Is that what I want?

I don’t think so…….

I saw a new garden, new flowers,

I saw…… me

Page 16:

Calm, pray, silence, forgive, ask, accept, peace, listen, feel, do…….

Find yourself, look at life, and look at nature, and look up, look inside,

I’m on my way, I will fly and find my way to peace…..

Page 17:

A tired heart,

A tired mind,

Time on my mind…..

Save me from my thoughts!!!!!

Where does insanity begin?

Where does it end? What is it?

Feel too much, free your soul…….

Page 18:

Do we choose our own circles?

Life begins, life ends……

We create our own circles in life…..

Our circles, cross with other people’s circles,

Do we get to choose them?

Do you stay, in that circle, do you leave?

Your choice?