Muffled Cry

Everytime I see him, he smiles. And whenever he strikes a conversation, it's as though he's got that influencial good aura which takes your bad vibes away. He takes things very lightly. He is the clown in his group of friends. He tries to make everyone laugh. That is why I like to be around him.

Things are just so easy for me when he's near, I admire his presence as much as I admire our friendship. He's always been a happy guy, I thought. But things changed. Like any other person, he is holding back tears. I didn't intend to pry on his background information. No! It was not my intention to discover something that changed my point of view about his happy-go-lucky guy approach. It never was. But when I saw it, my heart melted.
His mother died while he was still young. His father left them to find another family. His only family is his sister.
I don't know what it must be like for him to lose not only one but two important people in his life (his biological parents). And I won't dare to imagine myself being in his position. It's as though he'd been able to set foot on an unfamiliar journey with no armor other than hope.
The moment I realize what I was reading, I desperately shut the computer down. He, of all people. The happy guy who greets you good morning, the same guy who asks you for lunch. The guy I thought as a happy fella. He's been hiding so much pain that I'm afraid it would always be with him his whole life.
There are so many questions in my head that I want to ask. At what age did she died or, how did she look like? How do you see her as a woman---tough, loving, caring? Maybe all. But I know that these questions would only hurt him, so I hid them and let them hurt me, instead.
Now, I don't only admire our friendship but also his courage that lies within him.