If Only Part I

What if one day you woke up having a different face, a different life and chaotic past? Will you still be willing to live a luxurious life, with a beautiful face? Or would you rather be back to your own self, having an ordinary life and an ordinary face?But what if you already met the guy that makes you heart beats fast? What will you do?

No!! I can see my self falling from the cliff. Heavy rain falling on my face. I feel hopeless, I just closed my eyes, I couldn’t do anything ,there’s no miracle. I will surely die when I reach the bottom part of the cliff.

But no, I didn’t feel any pain, when I opened my eyes I’m in a soft bed. I looked around and I see my self lying on peach colored bed,it’s soft. The room is big and is painted with with peach colored paint too. I tried to stand but my legs are still shaking, my head throbbing. I don’t have the strength.

I’m wondering where I am. I looked at my dress, I’m wearing a red long gown for sleeping, and what surprised me is that my skin. My skin color changed!

Am I dreaming? I asked my self. I tried to stand and looked for a mirror. To my horror, I was looking on a different face in the mirror. It’s not me! What happened to me?

My dark skin was replaced by an olive colored skin, it’s very soft and no sign of imperfection. The woman I’m looking at is a very beautiful woman. She has a round,yet chinky eyes, a red pouty lips and a very white set of teeth. I tried to smile and I can see a set of dimples on both cheeks. She is beautiful and innocent. But, it’s not me.

I have a dark skin because of the harsh sunlight when I need to work in the farm,my skin color is uneven. My eyes are big and I have thick lips. Not like this woman in front of the mirror.

I looked at my hands they are soft and my fingernails are long, contrary to my own hand were it’s full of callouses from working.

I’m getting crazy, how can It be. What happened to me?

Suddenly,the door went open, a guy went inside my room. I was surprised when I looked at him. He’s tall maybe more than 6 feet. He has a very good body built, it’s masculine. He was just wearing pajamas and a shirt on top. He went inside and looked at me. Then he sit on the bed,but still he didn't speak. I feel conscious and uncomfortable with his stares, so I looked down and tried to look on the other side.

Then he spoke, “We need to talk.”

I looked at him and I can sense anger in his voice. I’m wondering what have I done to make him angry or maybe what did this woman do to make him angry.

I still didn't answer. I just kept my eyes on the floor.

Speak up! He shouted on me.

I was scared, what would I say. I don’t know what to say. And then tears started to fall and my shoulder started to shake. I want to get away from him. I’m afraid that he might hurt me.

But I saw the guy’s expression soften and then a surprised expression was visible on her face, and then his brows narrowed.

Is that your new strategy of stopping me? Now, you’re crying because you weren't successful with your suicide attempt, huh? I had enough Victoria. I can no longer handle your selfishness. I regretted the time,that I let your innocent face deceived me. If only I knew,that there is an evil creature behind that angelic face, I will never ever marry you.

HE was married to this woman? But why is she not wearing any wedding ring? And the guy when I looked at his fingers there is the wedding ring there. But, I don’t know what to say.

Out of compulsion I replied to him, “Yes, I maybe selfish, maybe I am a creature not worthy for your love, but if you will give the chance to change, I will change just to prove you that I am not such an evil creature, contrary to what you've just said.”

He was surprised, a smirk formed on his face, and in a sarcastic voice he replied, Huh? Why have you been to hell when you committed suicide? Maybe, you met Satan and you changed your mind?

I still looked down and stared on the floor, Maybe the woman who owns this body is a strong and furious woman, a woman who will not let anybody trample her. But not me, I am not used to it. I am used to being a wallflower, a person who is shy and will let others opinion affect her. I don’t how will this woman react in this kind of situation. As for me, I want to get away from here. I don’t want this kind of confrontation.

The man stood up,and went to the bathroom. After a minute I heard the shower rushing. I hurriedly looked for something to cover my dress, and I saw the robe. I put it on and went out from the room. I don’t want to see the guy for now. He looked intimidating.

When I went out the room I met one of the helper, she greeted me Good morning, and I replied good morning to her. I saw the woman’s face turned to ash, she looked surprise.

I walked through the dining hall, and saw two more helpers preparing the table.There were omelet,toasted bread, bacon, orange juice, there were muffins too. I heard my stomach grumbling.

The two woman looked at me and both mumbled good morning to me,which I replied back. I saw their faces turned ash too. They pulled one chair for me to sit down, and I murmured thank you to them. The two woman still looking at each other. I can see that they’re uneasy.

Would you like to sit and join me?, I asked them, but the two women shaked their head and said sorry.

No, it’s ok, I said in a friendly manner. The two of them looked at each other, still unable to believe that I was being nice to them.

The guy went down from the room as I started eating my breakfast. He didn't bother to sit,he just took a cup of coffee. He was about to leave when, I asked him, “Aren't you going to eat?”

He just looked at me, smirked and left.

Maybe, he really hates the person who own this body. He was disgusted and I can see pain, written all over his eyes. It made me curious to know who the real owner was, what have she done to harbor such untoward reaction from people around her.

I was left alone in the house the whole day. I have nothing to do since everything was done by the house help. By left afternoon, I felt terribly bored by just lying down and reading the whole day. It made me think what my parents were doing. Oh Yes, my parents how have they been doing. Were they looking for me. I wanted to talk to them, but what can I do, I don’t know to contact them.

I decided to watch TV to change my focus, maybe I can ask from that guy when he’s back on how I can reach them. That guy, the husband of this woman, who owns this body.

I opened the TV and they were reporting about the accident happened in the mountain side. It caught my attention. It was the accident where I was one of the casualties! I can see families crying still looking for their love ones. And I saw my mom,crying while hugging to a dead woman’s body covered with mud! My Body! I’m dead!

My body trembled with that realization, how can I be here and my body there. How did it happen?

May 31, 1990...3 days before the accident

Ammy, are you sure you really want to go and visit your aunt? I think it’s very dangerous for you to travel. The road is slippery and typhoon is still roaring. My mom looked worried of my travel, but I already said yes to my aunt, her son needs medicine for flu and she couldn't leave him to go to the town to buy medicine. She leaves in a really mountainous area. It takes 2 hours of travel from her place and almost an hour of walk going up to the mountain where she lives.

It’s OK mother, I will take care and be back as soon as I can. The little boy need this medicine, his condition might worsen if he couldn't take medicine.

I bade my mother goodbye and walked going to the bus stop. The rain still pouring hard and the wind a little bit strong ,but not as strong compared yesterday. It’s the second day of typhoon, if only the boy wasn't sick I won’t go out and go to mountain side with this bad weather condition.

After half an hour of waiting the bus stopped in front of me, and I get on. The bus had only a few passengers and I think most of them were also going to the mountain side.

We've been travelling for already half an hour when suddenly the bus start running in an uncontrolled direction. Some passengers were screaming, I looked at the driver and he looked scared, I can see horror on his face. I don’t know what to do. The next thing I know the bus was we were heading near the cliff, the driver couldn't stop it. He struggled,but end up in vain. The bus was thrown to a deep cliff...