If Only: Chapter 2

2

"Don't forget to submit your book reports tomorrow, on my desk at 10 sharp" said the teacher as he exited the class room. I had managed to somehow keep staring at that girl with the chipped tooth and angelic voice for the remainder of the class. How or why she didn't notice me was beyond my understanding.
"I see you've taken a liking to a certain someone, Jackie." Said my annoying friend.
"Don't kid yourself, young one. I just like her shirt is all".
"Since when do pink T- Shirts with kittens on 'em fascinate you?", she asked with a grin on her face.
"Since Angels started wearing them", I murmured to myself.
Me and my friend Anna Go way back. We've known each other for almost a decade now. I met her in second grade when she- oh so- gracefully defended my honour when I was being bullied by a kid named 'Bobby' for eating brocoli at lunch time instead of candy bars. First off, who still names their kids 'Bobby'? And second, why was this stranger trying to defend a poor little sap like me who couldn't even stand up to someone named 'Bobby'?
Regardless of all that, she still punched 'Bobby' in the face which broke his nose. Mind you this was second grade. To say she was crazy, would be an understatement. Despite me doubting her mental health, I still made friends with her. And I've never looked back since.
I call her young one or kid sometimes because she's really short and a year younger than me, while she calls me jackie to piss me off. Which I might add, does work sometimes.
"Are you going to keep staring at her for 20 more minutes or are you going to man up and go talk to the girl?", Said Anna.
"That's a suicide mission", I proclaimed.
"Well isn't she worth dying for?", She let out a laugh that caught the whole class's attention. Including HER's. That was the first time our eyes met.
She looked at me as if she could read my mind. Her blue eyes staring directly at me. It felt like she was looking into my soul. I felt nervous. My hands and body started shaking like there was an earth-quake. I looked around but didn't see anyone else struggling to sit straight. But I was sure there was an earth-quake that shook my very soul. And that tremulous earth-quake was none other than the girl in Pink Kitten T-shirt. She had shook my core and I couldn't snap out of it.
The next few weeks in english class were all a blur to me. As the teacher taught us about william wordsworth's wonderful poems and how he wrote about the beauty of nature and the bliss one finds when he observes it with an open mind, I was too busy appreciating another beauty of nature sitting six feet away from me. Every day at lunch I'd ponder about going up and talking to her but then dismissing the idea completely as doing that may or may not tarnish my so- called reputation among my alcohol-fueled, sex hungry, gossip-seeking peers.
But then I'd remember what Anna said to me that day:
"Well isn't she worth dying for?"
Her words echoing in my mind as I took a bite from last nights left-over brocoli that my mom had so nicely packed.
"Come on, don't be such a wuss. Go up to her and introduce yourself to the fine lady. I'm sure she'll compliment your Lord of Rings T-shirt and your dexter-like nerdy glasses", Said Anna while taking notes.
"Anna, you know me better than anyone and you know I can't talk to cute girls without having the urge to vomit my guts out".
"Well I'm offended, You don't think I'm cute?", she said while smiling.
"Ah, No I don't. Quite the opposite actually".
"You're an asshole, you know that Jackie? You should,because that's what I love about you".
"You should, and I love you too butt head, now back to solving my petty love-life problems", I said while looking at HER from the corner of my eye.
"Hear me out on this one, Jackie. If you truly desire her that much and if she truly makes you feel the way you claim she does, then she should be worth it. Worth the humiliation, worth the tarnish, worth destroying your social life for"
"Is that supposed to make me feel encouraged?", I said frustratingly.
"Yes it should. You need to take a risk every once in a while and she's that risk. You don't want to be sitting on a lawn chair ten years from now hating yourself for not taking that risk. The future shouldn't be wasted on regrets of the past. If that's not enough motivation for ya then I don't know what is! Now go make some magic happen so I can become a proud aunt someday", said Anna.
"Whatever you say, kid. I swear you were some sort of monk in your past life".
Anna always had a way with words. She always had an ear for poeple whom seeked advice and she'd always motivate them to do things they-under normal circumstances- would never do. And she kept no regrets or demons in her closet.
Except maybe one regret.
Her parents died when she was just 10 yearsold in a car accident. They were going on a vacation trip to california and Anna wanted to tag along very badly. She fought with her parents that night and didn't even say goodbye. That was the last time she ever saw her parents, besides their funeral.
She regrets it everyday. the last time she ever spoke to her parents was when they had a fight. She couldn't even say goodbye or give them a hug. Had she known what was about to transpire, she would have stopped them from ever leaving. She couldn't change the past no matter how much she wanted to. Maybe that's one of the reasons why she doesn't want other people to have any regrets. Because she knows living with that kind of tremendous pain is not an easy life.

I exchanged seatswith this kid I barely knew in my english class. His name was fernando. He seemed like a nice guy, known from the fact that he gave up his chair which was right next to the most beautiful girl on the face of the earth. So I did what any guy with hormones in my predicament would do. I sat next to her, kept my head straight at the board and kept looking or for lack of better term staring at her from the corner of my eye. That day she wore black cowboy jeans, with a brown AC DC shirt. She had her long silky black-with a shade- of brown hair in a perfectly sculpted bun. She looked so eager to learn. Which was the complete opposite of what I was doing in class, ofcourse. Who cares about education and learning when you have a hot girl sitting 2 feet away from you? I wanted her to notice me and since I wasn't the best pupil I decided to try different things. Drastic times call for drastic measures.
I used to accidentally 'Drop' my pencils and pens and also notebooks and she would pick them up for me. The first time she picked up my notebook after I dropped it on her freaking feet, It was the best day of my miserable life.
I continued this masterful plan for about a week and started growing impateint. I wanted her to start a conversation with me but she didn't seem to care much. Ofcourse, she cared enought to pick up my notebooks but maybe she did that out of pity thinking I was just some clumsy bafoon.
One day, I just decided.
"I've decided, Anna", I said with a determined look.
"That you're going to change your name and move to Japan and take care of pandas?"
"No, you freak. I've decided I'm going to talk to her today regardless of how bad it goes.", I said with even more determination if that's even possible.
"Well, Can I have your game collection just in case you don't make it out alive?", she joked. As Anna always did.
"A Simple Good luck wouldv'e sufficed"
"Good luck,my baby bird. God,they all grow so fast", she said.
I was eager and I was ready. I wasn't about to think about why I didn't talk to HER ten years from now while sitting in a lawn chair in my back yard. She was definitely worth it. She was worth it all.
Well isn't she worth dying for?"
Guess we'll have to find out then.