“Hi! Guys, how are you?” called a pink haired girl called out to her friends.
They replied “We are fine , what about Sakura”.
I replied” Me perfectly fine, have you thought about doing any thing on Halloween”.
A blond hair girl answered “Yup ,I have .I was thinking of throwing a party and only inviting our boy friends ,isn't that a good idea !”.With a puppy dog face.
I replied” Ino , actually that’s a great idea . What do you think Mei and Maya”
A brunette replied “I am fine with it. What about you Maya?”
A black haired girl replied “ I am fine with it too Mei”
Then I said “So , that’s final ,good . Now we only have to wait for them ”
I was very excited because Halloween was coming nearer and nearer day by day. Only a week was left and they had to plan the surprise party of Halloween for their boyfriends. Me and my friend were standing in front of the school gate waiting for our boyfriends.
After few minutes four race cars of brand new model slowly entered the university territory and were of four of four different colors dark navy blue , silver , orange and green.
As soon as, the cars were parked in the parking lot and four handsome pale skinned boys came out of those cars who looked very rich by their attitudes and after locking their cars ,they straight came to us ,at the front of the gate .
The boy with navy blue black hair is sasuke who came at my side and give me a kiss on lip and the boy with blond hair named Hikaru who is sasukes best friend straight went to Maya's side and the boy with spiky black pony tail named Shii straight went to Ino and when she tried to hug him he called her' a trouble some women' and the last guy with long black hair named neji went to Mei’s side and hugged her .
After few minutes sasuke said “ Hi ! Girls how are you ?”
We all replied “We are fine! what about you guys”
“Same here”
Suddenly Hikaru jumped in between us all,as we were standing in circle and said “ Do you remember that Halloween with in a week. I really want to go to a Halloween party and do tick or treat it would be so much fun ”
Sasuke said “Baka !shut up ”
“What is your problem sasuke”
Then suddenly the bell ranged and they all went to their classes.
The days slowly went by until the Halloween came.
After one week it was Halloween all the girls had planned the party in sakura’s house. So , they were preparing for it .All the main decorations were completed but few of the things were left to do.They completed the left over work with in an hour . As, the night was close ,they also went to get ready. They all ran in to my room and we got ready for the party,in many different costumes.
I was wearing a 'cute pink fairy costume', Mei was wearing a 'vampire costume', Ino became 'a princess', and Maya became 'a beautiful butterfly'.
After an hour the boys came in they all were dressed as vampires .
Hikaru said “Hi girls how are you ?”
We girls replied that we are fine, and said that they are looking good . I touched Sasuke’s fangs out of curiosity and as she was thinking it was artificial but it wasn’t . We never knew that the all the boys were real vampires .
When ,I touched his fangs he made a purring sound and suddenly grabbed my hand and took me to a room. I was shocked at his sudden swift movement . When he threw me at the bed lightly ,my body became stiff . I was shocked at this situation and also because Sasuke has never done any thing like this before.I looked at his face with confused expression and said “what are you ?”
As Sasuke tried to touch me , I went back and rejected his hands .Then he spoke "Sakura, I am sorry for hiding this from you but I am truly a vampire but I will not hurt you so please don’t reject me ,I like you".Then he suddenly bite my neck I screamed loudly ,the pain was excruciating but no one came for help because every other girls in that house was in same state . I became his , only his .MY horrifying life starts from now onward's.
Sasuke ,Hikaru,Neji and Shii got the girls they wanted .
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Hey! Guys, Ihave just written a new story please give me an comments on it .
Tell whether I have improved or I have to improve more.
Hey guys as you said that my narration was good so changed it . please read it again and give comment :)
12 COMMENTS
Sharmishtha Shenoy
October 24, 2015 - 18:06 Nice one! The boys are real vampires - scary thought and you have described the girls and boys in details which I likedcrystal123
October 24, 2015 - 18:09 THANKS!!!Manahill Naik
October 24, 2015 - 20:44 i really liked the plot.. Though you still have slight tense probs.. i liked the details of the story too :) keep up and keep on improving :D :) :)crystal123
October 25, 2015 - 06:50 thanksnupur27
October 25, 2015 - 14:08 Loved the description u gave!!! All the besst:):)crystal123
October 25, 2015 - 14:35 thanksJoy
October 26, 2015 - 07:20 I was reading ur story thinking tht in the end the girls will surprise the boys. But u gave a nice twist to the story saying that the boys were vampires... i liked ur story....only thing I wud like to mention for u to improve wud be tht if u are doing the narration in the story then contine it till the end... but if u r mentioning the names of the characters then do tht. In the start it seems the story is frm sakura's point of view but thn in the end it doesn't seem tht way...rekhanshiraghava
October 26, 2015 - 08:18 Story is nice... So is the description... Tense is little problem.... But yes... Story has a twist... Little attention towards narration... Will Make u a wonderful writer...crystal123
October 26, 2015 - 13:29 I have corrected it read it and tell mesheelsdevi
October 29, 2015 - 04:27 Friend..it was Indeed a fabulous one with a surprise ending ..I enjoyed it thoroughlycrystal123
October 29, 2015 - 10:47 thanksSusan Jacob
October 29, 2015 - 20:25 Hey crystal clear, that is a good piece of work :) Loved the title and the end... Just keep going :)