When there is love..there is sacrifice

Having a friend is great and you could even imagine how tough times can be easy to handle. You get along well and your favorites are alike. When I was in high school, I developed this kind of friendship towards a classmate of mine--a guy. We shared secrets and we strolled around the neighborhood when the classes dismissed. We were like brothers and sisters. We even have an endearment--if that's what it's called. He called me sister and I called him brother. At the beginning of our friendship it was like a love towards a sibling. The love I felt for him was platonic. But as times go by, I felt something I cannot explain. I felt jealous when he talked to someone, but I never showed it because for me it was so embarrassing to feel that way and I don't have the right. My secret was kept for a long time until we graduated. When I was in college, I was so pre-occupied with my studies I almost forgot him. I went to a university in the city and as what I've heard he was at certain university where I cannot go because it was so far and I have no budget for doing it. I've waited so long for him. One day his mother was at the market. I immediately rushed to her and asked her about his son Fred. I was aching to know something about him, or any news about him. But fate didn't want us to be together. I tried everything to forget him--just to forget him, and I did. I've been to many relationships but nothing is serious and I don't know why. Boys come and go in my life but nothing had ever made me love them. I continued working and I gained many friends. I have 6 best friends and two of them are my closest (Elvs and Chai). I confided to them about Fred. I told them everything and they were like blushing. They really like my story. So I went on with my life oblivious to the things that will happen next. I was so busy with work when my cellphone ringed. I was reluctant to answer because the number was not registered on my phone. But I answered anyway. At first the guy on the other line asked me if I knew him and I answered no!. And he asked me again if I recognized his voice, again I said no. And he laughed and asked him again who he was, feeling irritated. And he finally told me, Francis. He is my cousin who was working in the big city. It was a long time that I haven't heard of him. He told me that he has been communicating with Fred, but didn't elaborate everything. And I say, okay. That's it, as if I didn't hear anything Francis had told me. Conversation ended and he hung up. I felt sad because I thought Fred had forgotten me. I cried that night, it was so painful. Three days after Francis called me again. He told me that Fred and him are talking about me and that he wants me to call him. But I refused. Why would I call him? He's the guy, he must be the one to call me. My ego again! The next day I received a call from him. I feel like I've been ascending to heaven. I really really missed him. He told me he missed me too. From then on, he's calling me every morning, after work and before going to bed. Everyday before calling me I received a text message from him asking me if I'm okay or have I eaten breakfast...anything. I was falling for him again and again and again. One day he asked me if I have a facebook account and i said nothing because it's true. I didn't have facebook account at that time. He told me to make one because he wants to see me. So i made one and uploaded my pictures. He texted me and on his message he said, "you are still beautiful". And I never replied because I have nothing to say. It's like I'm mute. He's always jealous to my guy friends. He acted like I'm his girlfriend. What am I gonna say? nothing. I'm happy with the way he treated me. Days went on and on until one day he said he wants to introduce his girlfriend to me. I pretended happy for him and cracked jokes like when we were in high school. He said he uploaded their pictures on facebook and he wants me to see it. I cried and cried and my tears are like having it's own mind didn't want to subside. I was so hurt. I barely ate and I lose appetite on all thing even going to work. I didn't return his calls and never replied his texts. He sent pm on facebook but never responded it. I feel like my heart will explode. everyday I'm crying, even in front of my friends when we talk about other things my tears fell without knowing it. My friends were worried too. I was so disappointed to myself. I have no right to feel that way but I can't help it. I thought I would die. I was so broken little by little into pieces. Fred sent me a text again and he said he was so worried about me. But nothing can ever pacify me from what I am feeling that time. One of my friends called him and tell him everything, the reason why I'm so broken. And he sent text again and said, " I care for you because you are not just my friend, you are my lover". I don't know exactly the meaning of it. I'm his lover but he doesn't love me back. He doesn't feel the same way I do. I sent him message. I said I'm sorry because I didn't want this feeling to happen but I can't help it. It's just the way it is. I told him I will never ever bother him again. I cut all the connections that we had even if it kills me. It's the best way to forget him and not hurt myself again. It took years to finally get over it. Years!! I thought I would never ever get over him, but I'm wrong. Time heals all wounds as they say and it's true. We have now a communication. He says Hi to me and I responded. He was never married. I don't know why. I truly feel happiness now that I married his cousin. Maybe were not meant for each other.