Simple math

Simple math...
I don't know why I still try to write to you
Maybe it's to soften the blues of these Maybelline covered bruises
I'm sure the news came short and stout
Like a little teapot boiled over the day I walked out
I'm sure the look of surprise came with a gesture of compromise when you realized it was for the best that I ventured away
Safe to say I was in a safe place thanks to work and school and family relations
And when I vacated from your frayed disposition
I ran as fast as my legs could stride fueled only by ambition
The sickness that licked at the foundation of your rage
Was not a book I wished to flip through albeit turning a new page
You were fire
And I got incinerated
By the smile on your fists when your knuckles kissed my chin
By the way you said you loved me before sinking into a jealous fit
And that was the end of it
I could do nothing more than search for shelter
And beg for mercy
Under the impression that I deserved this hell by the depth I was submerged in it
But I knew how to swim
And catch my breath quickly when my solar plexus was empty of it
I may have waded for years in the poisoned waters you spilled
But I was poised and ready to forget you even if it meant skipping
And living above the laundry room at the country club where I chef apprenticed
I'm sure the empty spaces in that apt in Victorian village
Tore through your soul that day guided by the holes in our relationship
I took my television
I left with my clothes
I took only what was necessary to dip and dash as fast as I could pack and go
I left you our chow chow
And our mittenpaw kitty
They whined on my arrival knowing somehow that I was leaving
You needed someone or something to keep you from tipping
Over the edge of borderline personality disorder and a hoard of mental illness
I understand
It wasn't planned
You just couldn't handle
When the anger took the reigns of calamity
and you became void of all pain and sanity
I was no longer able to recognize you through your face while in a manic state 
And maybe I instigated it
Maybe I insinuated that you needed help
Did you take it?
No
So we just fell deeper
Like gravity was feeding
And was never able to satisfy its throat
I remember the frigid winter in the Reynoldsburg townhome
When you tossed me out in the cold
Bare naked and freezing and scared of being publicly indecent in the single digit temperatures I was exposed
I remember the car rides home
With no seat belt on the passenger side
You would slam the brakes and screech the tires
And I would end up bleeding again when the dashboard and my head met violently
There was the house where you helped the developmentally disabled eat, dress and do chores
I remember rolling around on the floor
Your hands locked in place
Playing tug of war with my hair and face
And tearing out patches that somehow grew back years later
We were vagrants
Liars with straight faces
Mirror images of difference
Though indifference took its place
Until I ran Away
And I can say without doubt
That I never looked back
Not a shoulder shrug or even a half cocked neck would have me retracting my tracks
I subtracted us from each other
and then divided all three
took the mean of that separation
Placed it in an average fraction
And added years to my life expectancy
Just by leaving
Simple math that saved my ass completely unexpectedly