This is a bit soapy. Found it along with my old notes :D Taaaahh, written during a lot of years ago and decide to post it here.
I can recover every trace
That she had left to him.
Every single detail and simplest thought...
She is designed to give
To be kind and generous
To be of great help....
I long to love you again
To have you back...
It is not everyday
When I could find someone like you
That is why from the very start...
Time flee fast
And it is never enough
I sit and thrilled...
She shouts at the rooftop,
He murmurs down the stairs.
She writes the lyrics and plays an instrument,...
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nupur27August 15, 2015 - 05:55 It's kinda me in there!!! Felt it to the core!!
samewriterAugust 15, 2015 - 16:26 ayyyiiieee, i never expect you will like, hahaha it is some sort of those puppy love stuff, but thanks :))) so glad you like it :D
rekhanshiraghavaAugust 15, 2015 - 06:02 This is a master writing..... Superb.. i can feel the connect.... Just wow.... Loved it
samewriterAugust 15, 2015 - 16:28 woooaaah, i never thought you would found it goodieeee :D aight, thanks a lot rehka :D
aniketnikhadeAugust 16, 2015 - 09:27 The poem has got a few elements which need attention. The poem is very well written and it works very well. After reading the poem the first thing that came to mind is the term "Reciprocate", followed by "Reversal" and then subject to change are my feelings, emotions and thought process. This line "As we get along as friends" needs to be checked and changed. The same line can be written as "When we get along as friends". This is then followed by the last line which states "If the feelings are still there." The same line can be written as "If the feelings are still the same" After reading the poem I remembered of a tennis ball game which is usually played quite often by youngesters. Based on the game all I want to say is the there is a scope for editing the lines and including new words and excluding the old ones. This is because the thought process is clear, the direction is proper and the way in which everything needs to be mentioned is very well know. So why not take the next step. Thus the tennis ball is thrown against the wall and it will definitely return back to you as you are the only one who is playing the entire game. A very well written poem.
samewriterAugust 16, 2015 - 13:58 Aight, thanks for reading aniketnikhade. For the points from above comment, I do get it and will keep it in mind. For the mean time, I'll just keep my poem that way and apply those I have learned the next time I write. Thanks a lot really. I really appreciate it. :D P.S. I bet you are a professional editor. :)
mischievousPrincessAugust 17, 2015 - 06:00 geeee love it ! <3 it sounds realistic ... bet It happened to you ? ... :)
samewriterAugust 17, 2015 - 18:49 hahaha, somehow :P anyways, thanks for reading and the upvote as well :D
mischievousPrincessAugust 18, 2015 - 02:13 your welcome :) ^^ I hope he'll court you again :) or maybe just tell him :) ^^ <3
samewriterAugust 18, 2015 - 16:03 haha, it is way back a lot of years ago, and it is not that I have fallen for me, we become best of friends. The falling in love part is dome sort of imaginative story. And I don't really know if where he is right now mischievousPrincess :)
mischievousPrincessAugust 19, 2015 - 05:25 that's a beautiful experience ... something you could tell when you grow up :)
Cyneburg's FieldAugust 17, 2015 - 17:35 awwwwwww 3
samewriterAugust 17, 2015 - 18:50 whhhuuuuuuuuuutttttttt????
Manahill NaikAugust 17, 2015 - 20:56 BRILLIANT <3 lovedddd itttt to the mooonnn and baccckkk :D
samewriterAugust 18, 2015 - 15:52 ayyyyiiieee, thanks manahil, sooo glad you love it :D