Photobombing aka Chicken Trouble

This is a story about Cedric Henderson. And me. Again. Mmhmm.

The weather was absolutely fine today. We should be strolling in the park hands in hands like all the other couples, but no, things just HAVE to go differently when it’s Cedric we’re talking about.

Cedric winced as I poked at his temple playfully. “Hey that actually hurts!” he complained. We were on the sidewalk of a busy street, both panting heavily from the strenuous run. Cedric was massaging his left eye, where he got punched just minutes ago. Somebody’s gonna have a black eye tomorrow. Well serve him right, actually.

How on earth did we manage to put ourselves in such position? Yeah well, leave it all to Cedric for that.

Just an hour ago, Cedric and I were sitting on a bench sipping on our orange juice while arguing something about photobombing. The other lovebirds would normally talk about what movies to watch next and which gown or suit to wear to the prom and cheesy stuff, but Cedric and I rarely talked about those. Something I got used to long time ago.

If you were an advice columnist and were to follow us for a one-day research on “Top Classic Conversation Topics between Lovey-Dovey Cupcakes”, here’s what you’ll most probably get:

a) To lick a cat’s sweaty bottom or never eat chocolate again

b) To be a kid again or Channing Tatum/Amanda Seyfried for one day

c) Time travel to the past or future

d) Very small beautiful tree house or ugly mansion

e) To lick a stinky armpit or fart in a library

“Nah I’m sure they won’t mind, really,” Cedric insisted.

“Photobombing is kinda rude if you ask me,” I sucked the remaining orange juice up noisily, glaring at him.

We were in the middle of a buzzing historic tourist place. Food stalls are scattered all around the place and there was a beach just a five-minute walk away from here.

I was chewing on the remaining gooey aloe when Cedric nudged me and nodded towards a big family a few feet away from us. There were ten of them and five were old chaps, the others were kids and teens. Such weird travelling group.

“They’re gonna pose for a picture…..”

I lifted my brow though I know where Cedric was going with this. He got to his feet, a hint of smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. “I’m telling you, they won’t mind a bit. Photobombing is kinda a way to make new friends, Wendy. Watch me.”

With that, he strode towards them, sucking on his straw as he did.

I snorted. Make new friends. Really. What kind of scientific theory was that?

I watched as the kid offer to take the picture while the rests quickly moved to their own positions, trying to flash the brightest smile possible. The chap at the furthest end even had an ice-cream in one hand, his tongue stuck out near the tip of the ice-cream. I stifled a laugh by coughing.

I was so focused on that chap that I forgot Cedric was planning on a photobomb until a roar sounded out of nowhere and the next thing I knew, everything was a mess. Wait, did Cedric just ROAR? I shook my head and my jaw dropped when I took in the aftermath of Cedric’s so-called friendly photobombing.

What was left of the old chap’s ice cream was an empty cone in his hand, while the rest of the vanilla cream was splattered on the ground. Another older man was hanging on by his walking stick, his hand clutching at his heart while the others were muttering audible curse. Oh god. What the hell, Cedric?

I tore my unbelievable gaze away and tilted my head at Cedric, who was perching beside the old chap with the ice-cream. As if nothing had happened, Cedric jogged towards the kid with the camera, squinting his eyes down at the picture taken, and laughed out loud.

He was so dead meat.

“What the actual fuck?” the lad with the walking stick boomed, tossing his hand into the air, causing me to jump a little. I didn’t expect that from an old man. And obviously neither did Cedric when his grin dropped that very second.

“What’s wrong with you, vermin?” one of the teens spoke up. His muscles suggested that he’d won a hundred boxing competitions.

I gulped and rushed over to Cedric’s side, “We’re so sorry. He just thought it’d be fun to photobomb and all….”

The muscle guy widened his eyes and scoffed, cracking his knuckles. Oh shit.

Cedric grasped at my hand suddenly and muttered in my ear, “I say we run.”

“Grand idea,” I nodded my head vigorously.

“One,” Cedric tightened his grip on my hand, “Two…”, I was bending my knees subtly getting ready when Cedric yelled, “Run!”

“What-“ I came to my senses and started sprinting alongside Cedric like mad, the wind clawing at my face. My legs felt like they were on their own, propelling me forward in a lightning pace. Never knew I could run this fast.

“You vermins! Stop right there!” I could hear the muscle guy bellowing behind.

I choked on the rush of air and stumbled to a slower pace.

“Wendy! It’s not even a kilometre yet. Come on!” Cedric was dragging my hand desperately when the terrible angry bellow from muscle guy tore over the air around us again.

Cedric Henderson, what the heck had you gotten us into?

We started running and weaving through the chattering crowd again, with me whining in exhaustion behind and Cedric leading us on. My whole body was burning and I swear my lungs were on fire. My pace was starting to fall out of Cedric’s again when he made an unexpected turn and pulled me into a boutique. I was panting like never before and when my breathing finally seemed to stabilize, I noticed that we were already in a fitting room, Cedric across from me, his chest still raising and falling rapidly.

“You!” I poke at his chest while still bending over in tiredness.

“I’m just….just unlucky…to have, chosen, the, wrong people.” He gasped for air while saying.

I coughed and rolled my eyes. “I wasn’t talking about that.” It wasn’t the first time we got chased around by some aggressive guy thanks to Cedric. I took a ragged breath and continued, “It should be one, two, three, run. Not one, two, run!” I threw up my hands and bent over my sore stomach again.

Cedric laughed, sinking down onto the floor, “Alright. I’ll remember that next time.”

“There’s gonna be a next time?” I choked again, finding it somehow hard to really slow down my breathing when a knock on the door sounded.

“Hello?” A girly voice came from outside. “Is there two in the fitting room? I’m sorry but only one is allowed.”

Wincing, Cedric gripped at his stomach before getting up to his feet again and opening the door, revealing a svelte woman outside. Her jaw dropped when she took in the two worn out and haggard weirdies in front of her, also known as Cedric and Wendy.

The woman widened her eyes slightly and shut her mouth, clearing her throat awkwardly. I gasped when I realized what this must have looked like to her. Cedric and I were both still panting from the escape-run and Cedric’s hair was literally a bird’s nest while mine, I didn’t even wanna turn around and look at myself in the mirror. Everything looked so wrong.

“It’s not what you think,” I fumbled my hand in the air, searching for words while Cedric knit his brows in confusion.

The woman waited. I was about to drag Cedric out of that boutique when he cut in, “It is what you think, m’am. We’re gonna die. We really need this fitting room for a while.”

I snapped my head to him and gaped. “Shut up, Cedric. Do you even know what-“

He gave the woman one last pleading look before slamming the room shut again. “Phew,” he breathed out prominently.

I scoffed unbelievably.

I was about to chide in again when the woman yelled from outside, banging on the door, “I’m a Miss, you idiot! Get out now or I’m gonna call the security!”

That was it. I punched Cedric’s shoulder, “Next time, leave the talking to me. You don’t even know what you were talking about!”

Cedric crossed his arms and motioned, “That woman KNOWS we’re being chased and she just wanted drama so she-“

“What?” I blinked a few times, befuddled.

“Never mind.” Cedric grabbed at my hand. Breathing out, he unlocked the door, revealing not only the woman this time but also Muscle Guy, who had his fists balled up outside the boutique. Holy cheesey mousey. Just great.

I truly expected Cedric to give in already and just walk out to apologize to Muscle Guy. Apparently I was wrong when he declared out of the blue, “One two three run!”

I was caught off guard again, but I managed to catch up this time. Good thing about the tourist mob, they helped hide and shelter us against Muscle Guy. Bad thing about them, it’s hard to navigate with your body bent down most of the time. So there we were, on the absolutely horrendous run again.

My lungs were threatening to explode at any minute and it was my throat that was on fire this time.

“Ha!”

Cedric halted suddenly and I crushed into his back, which was an awfully bad idea since he didn’t bulge a bit so my nose was practically flat now. I rubbed at my nose unhappily. I looked up for the first time and saw Muscle Guy in front of us. And before I could even yelp, Muscle Guy’s fist connected with Cedric’s left eye. I was fuming all of a sudden.

“You think it was funny?” Muscle Guy glared down at both of us. Who the heck did he think he is? Some stupid muscles don’t mean anything.

Cedric grunted, his fist on his left eye.

That Muscle Guy was so minced pork. I jerked my hand out of Cedric’s and began stomping up to Muscle Guy, who had just turned his back to us walking away. “You piggy-“

“What are you DOING?” Cedric was quick enough to haul me back.

He was right. We couldn’t possibly fight that guy, so I waited till Muscle Guy was far enough before I burst out in utter hatred, “Go eat chicken dung, you son of a steroid overdose! You walk like a fucking chicken by the way!”

“What the hell Wendy!” Cedric grabbed onto my arm and started yanking me through the crowd again.

I looked back to find Muscle Guy’s eyes fixated solely on mine. He bared his teeth, flexing his fingers and cracking his neck. I yelled at him, “Seen enough of the stupid muscle show, chicken!”

“Wendy!”

And it was running all over again.

I was surprisingly in pace with Cedric this time, probably because I knew we might die a terrible death if we ever got caught up by Muscle Guy. I had no idea how long we’d been torturing our legs to run the impossible but by the time we stumbled to a stop, we were near the main traffic roads again, the beach and tourist place long left behind.

Both bent over our aching stomachs, we kept taking large gasps of air until we were able to talk again.

Cedric huffed, “Chicken, eh?”

Not looking at him, I breathed, “Yeah, an ugly chicken.”

Cedric choked in between his laughs. How could he POSSIBLY find this funny? We were nearly killed!

Breathing loudly, both of us dropped to the ground on our hands, whining and grunting in response to our sore legs.

And that’s how we got ourselves into such position.

I raised my chin high and claimed, “Told you photobombing is a not-so-good idea.”

Cedric gazed at me from beneath his lashes and coughed, “It was just the wrong people.”

“Yeah whatever.”

“It’s true!” he threw his hands up innocently. He got to his feet and after dusting his pants, started walking towards the telephone booth not far from where we are.

I’m just starting to wonder who does he need to call at this time when I spot the two girls next to the booth, phone in hand, taking selfies. No, no, no.

“Cedric Henderson, you do not-“

Yeah, of course he does it again. The girls freeze, and shifting their glare unwillingly from the dropped phone on the ground to Cedric, they threw him the finger both at the same time.

If looks could burn, Cedric would most definitely be a death spirit right now.

Cedric turned to me and grimaced. I think I could see him mouthing, “One, two….”

I closed my eyes trying not to explode into larva chunks. WHAT. THE. FREAKIN. SMOLDERING. HELL. CEDRIC. HENDERSON.