My love life

My love life
If only life had instructions………

Loving someone is one hell of a headache and I’m living as proof of that. As of today the 11th of February 2015 & on my 4th level at varsity it should have been the greatest year of my life but yet it is a horrific one. I dated this girl for 2years well we were the best of friends, you’d swear that we met 5years ago. The was something about her that made me feel whole and complete. We loved each other or shall I say ‘’I loved her?’’ and she was just playing along. I already had plans for her I told myself that she was the one I want to spend the rest of my life with unbelievable I wanted to pay lobola for her that’s just how much she meant to me.

Last year November when we were on holidays everything was perfect nothing changed and I wouldn’t suspect a thing hence she called like she used to and I did the same thing. I feel empty inside because I feel like she lied to me , I would tell her how much I miss her and she will tell me the same thing and today I wonder if that was true or not. As nothing doesn’t come to an end December holidays faded in a blink of an eye I was so happy because I couldn’t wait to hold her in my arms again. I had the most precious gift for her because she was precious to my heart I knew that I had the perfect gift because I knew exactly what she wanted, but I guess I was wrong. So I started packing my school staff and her welcome gift and the following day I took a taxi to Pretoria with excitement of course. I got to Pretoria a week earlier than her, I settled in very well. The following week she told me she was coming hence the classes were commencing on that week. As happy as I was I couldn’t wait to see her face when she see what I got her, she called me to her room but I want her to come to mine because I cooked for her. She came by and we chatted when we finished dinner, I just went down on one knee and asked her to marry me. She cried and I thought it was the tears of joy yet it was tears of guilty. Then she said she never thought I loved her that much and I was like you better believe it baby because it’s true, then she said yes, damn I was so happy and over the moon. I told her that I will stick with her no matter what. Then she kissed me who was I not to have an amazing night?

Two weeks later she texted me {we need to talk} I felt my heart beat because my dad warned me about such words especially coming from a women. The whole day I kept asking myself what did I do wrong now. My knees were weakling on me at that time. Then as brave as I was I went to her place and she told me I needed to sit down, that’s when I realise that this is much worse than I thought it will be . She said ‘I love you but I cannot be with you anymore’ I said why, she said that you will have your chance to speak now this is mine chance, shakily as I was I gave her the platform. As she proceeded baby you mean everything to me and if I could turn back the hands of time I would. I’m doing all of these for you okay, IAM PREGNANT BUT YOURE NOT THE FATHER. I slept with my ex during December and fell pregnant but we ended things, he asked me to abort my baby and I couldn’t…

Wow there I was at the back of my mind did not know what to do or say, I just had a lot of questions. I held myself and said
Me: I have 3 questions only, shall I?
Her: yes
Me: how long have you been cripping with this guy?
Her: only 4 times.
Me: do you still love him?
Her: no
Me: why did you agree to marry me?
Her: because I love you…
Me: lastly, if you love me and don’t love him. Why are you carrying his child not mine????
Today is the 5th of March I’m still waiting for that answer ……