My Healing, your Hell

Our relationship was cursed from the beginning of every flirting word
And you just had fun
playing pin the tail on the one
That it could hurt the worst
You were the first to cum and the last to reciprocate cuddling
A past time favorite that instigated most of our behavioral struggles
I was the shuttle and you were my outer space under where
Unfortunately you held my source of oxygen and did not want to share
You held me by heart strings and by the gravity of commotion
Taking my dignity by way of public humiliation and testing my devotion
By taking away everything I made when I was able to express the most
My paintings went by way of a 7 inch chef blade while hanging on drywall bedroom slabs
My sculptures by way of fits and rages and halter top haymakers aimed accurately
My words and ink stain that covered the grain of So many surfaces
Burned at the stake in a fire that twisted in cursive flame
crackling embers of curdling pages and ashen verses
My heart was in that fire
Incinerated and in denial
Still smoldering while the cold of winter set in
And frozen was I with my scattered belly's contents
Now dripping from my chin
Like the blood from the sentences that bit your tongue hard
The day I escaped and left you a farewell nice to know you card
I would bet your dead stare brought spectrums of light to life
Probably made its way through the exposed brick wall where our couch resided
And burnt the mortar while scorching 2x4 frames
Taking the whole atmosphere with you When you imploded in flames
For me there was no where left to go but safe
And sane
Not for years after your charades could I claim it
But at least I wasn't being beaten by your love and enslaved in domestic containment
The sad thing is that as much as I wish to forget our time
I want to remember it in more detail to capture its essence when I rape you with my pen and scribe
I want every line to contain
Just how excruciating you made it
I want the sentences to ask to take themselves back
Erase the sentiment so that the scars don't start to crack
And part ways with old armor leaving only Band-Aids intact
Maybe I just lack the ability to let go of you
Every now and then I want to uncage and let you loose
Because every time I poke at these abusive bruises
I gain strength
And you in fact
You become the length of severed limbs I dangle above the mouths of a hungry wolf pack