Ice_Cream

The outburst when you can no longer suppress the anger, pain and anguish that has completely filled the pits of your soul transforms you into a different person. That person is you yourself but isn't you at all. There are times when you can no longer hold it in. Everything that you have been burying within yourself comes pouring out all at once. People have their own ways of expressing their feelings as it suits them, but me; I scream.
Most of us are alive but are not living. We are born as nobody and die as nobody. We present ourselves as nothing more than brain washed creatures that strive for happiness and fulfillment that can never be found. Happiness is like the tale of a buried treasure with no hint as to how to find it. At some point in our life, we all try to find the meaning of our life. And then we search for the reason behind our existence. We try to fill our empty heads with air headed topics like the structure and the boundaries of the universe or the afterlife and other things that we can make no sense of no matter how much thought we put into it. We push a step forward in our life using all the strength that we have in these little hand of ours but it pushes us back harder; and we tend to fall back three paces.
We try our best to make a difference in our lives and the lives of others. The harsh truth is that it is like pouring a bucket of water in the ocean. On top of that, we have personal issues and frustration from our work, family and our life itself. We could say it’s the reason as to why we are angry most of the times even if there is no particular reason. So, if I had to define life in a single phrase, I’d say “it’s a pain in the ass”. Like most of us, I too feel like an anxious guy. I look perfectly fine from the outside but feel completely broken within. There is nothing I can do about it as there is no root to the problem nor can I find any solution. All I can do is bury my face in the pillow and scream. I scream aloud and I scream hard. I keep on screaming until my throat goes sore and my voice goes dry. A dumb person who tries his best to reach out to the ones beside him but his scream goes through unnoticed. That is how I feel most of the time. Like most of us I too am a helpless poor guy reaching out; stretching his arms to be pulled out of the agony of this oblivion.
Sometime I wonder if I am the only one who feels that way and other times I wonder if I am not the only one who feels that way. Sometimes, I wish I was just a hippie with no worries and then the reality slaps me right across the face. There is nothing I can do about the way the world appears to me. After all we are but powerless creatures with nothing to gain and everything to lose. I scream my lungs out hoping, one day this misery will come to an end. Maybe that is the reason why I scream.