Dreams Are Life

How things change has never stopped getting my

mind befuddled. Falling from the bucolic

apotheosis of secondary school to a child lost in

the small world of the university state could be

mind wrecking.

Just as I'd always say, I once lived my life with a

lot of enthusiasm, sedulously working towards the

realization of my big dream that offers me

comfort-- even though I wouldn't want to

practice it for more than 10 years. But at least I

need to prove a point; people in that field ain't in

any way more intelligent than us. After all, about

70% of them I've met are fun to be around, lived

a stressed life unlike my dad whose life is based

on the philosophy of free thinking.

As a child, my dad made me believe that I can

always get whatever I wanted without begging

and people do not have to beg me before I do

them a favour. Of course I rarely begged people

for things and this transcended into my

relationship with God. I felt that asking God for a

favour was sheer waste of God's time and

resources since I could source everything I needed

to be happy but the current state of things has

made it otherwise.

Gradually, my life is slipping into despondency

over this dream of mine that is far from the reach

of my noble hands, I kept on wondering what had

nobbled my winsome, most lovable dream.

I went through my diary for 2010 and 2011

searching for what the possible cause of my

quagmire could be, but the truth was safely

locked out of their reach. I didn't document much

of my 2012 acts so there was this feeling of

reluctancy that I wore each time the thought to

go to it came up.

As I flipped through the sparsely filled diary,I once

again that that documentation," I'll never forgive

her'.

She was doing her PGD then. Just as I told you

earlier, I was a demigod in the world of

academics,accomplished feats too great that

people who knew me well found it difficult as well

as embarrassing to see such a great mind as

mine gearing towards the direction am now

headed. Nothing could have made me believe that

my dreams would be far from the almighty me.

Everyone expected more than I could imagine.

Realization of my dream would have been

possible if not that she willingly killed my grand

dream which was the same as stifling the life in

me.

"Hey! You'll make a good teacher"

I was already set on getting my life dream but

this assertion invariably slayed me, made me

forget that my sole aim of desiring to study was

just to practice for 10 years and then teach men

that are men the art of medicine and then retire a

quiet writer with low social life not because I am

a dweeb but because I must have reached the

zenith of public life so I must leave the stage for

my wife and little sister to dance to the song of

men that are worth more than others.

She killed every bit of strength I had saved for the

struggle ahead with her voice though she was

right somehow, I wanted to teach people the

wonders of medicine but she used my gifting

against me-- me of all people. She suggested

that I derailed from the path I had made my

choice offering an easier path to becoming a

Dominus of academics.

My passions were killed! I was killed alongside

my dreams and I went about my businesses

languidly. From that day onward, I saw my life in

obscurity, yes, life turned to a torment. Once lived

in glory, unfortunately, I now live like the local

dog feeding from the crumps that fell from a

child's table.

Often, I'd remember how I soared in this little

field but now what is left of me is not worth

craving for. This single denial of a desire, sorry

great dream has thrown me into megrims. But

there is still hope for this small life that lost its

dream.

Symolean M.G.