Chasing Mirages

God, I know this too shall pass,
I don’t want to let go of him but I have to, I must.
My heart is breaking but He too has come and shall pass.

This too shall pass. This too won’t last.
The hopeless longing,
The sorrowful singing,
And the silent screaming,
All that shall pass.

I think its love that I’m feeling but love doesn’t love me at all.
The more I love is the more I feel pain.
The more I’m attracted is the more I’m rejected.
The more I care is the more I’m neglected.
My emotions are too tired to do this again.

The more I want to get close, the more I think I have to step back.
The more I want to make him understand, the more I don’t think I stand a chance.
The more I want to be brave is the more it all seems pointless.

I always witness the most beautiful soul,
Most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
Still handsome and worth every stare,
Still beautiful as he always has been from the first sight.
Still rose up dead sensations from deep within.

Today I saw him and as always I ignored him,
Because the more I want to talk to him is the more likely I am to cry before him.
I have loved and have been discarded,
My level was too low and so I’ve been so disregarded.
I ignored him because I feared disappointment,
What if he didn’t want my greeting, what if I was being such a drag?


Today I saw the beautiful smile and the gorgeous eyes,
They got me startled and paralyzed.
Today I saw him and again I worried,
Will I ever be enough? I didn’t think so, I turned the other way.

It was painful but I let him walk away,
Internally though, I wanted him to come in and stay.
Because I love him and I want him to see things that way.