And all at once you were venomous... But no more...

I use to kiss the lips
where Venom liked to sit
in the fractured wrinkles of your smile
You were like a ritual killing though I never enjoyed the cannibalism
But you were all too willing to try anything once even if we died trying
After you shattered the twilight into a million shadows that I collected to put back together a shred of a life less shallow
Became the morning after of realizing that we were only heading towards disaster
I can see it in my children an insidious inherent intuition
A fight or flight condition
That was the way you lit my fuses that sparked my self abusiveness
And darkened the hues of all the blues and bruises that I had gotten used to
And you always made sure I knew that I was routed into the suffocating vines of your childlike delusions
You already knew the taste of blood from my heart
it was like a full plate of meat to the starving
And you lapped it up like mothers milk bottle fed to a tribe of wolves
In car seats
The way you coddled me like a child and degraded me when I didn't do right
I bottled it all up inside when all I wanted to do was fucking write
But the pen was astray and paper was not safe
For anything stained in ink could be psychically traced 
And I didn't care to embrace war with your spiritual cohorts
Or the demons that seeked you out for ritual words sworn
You were pornographic and shallow underground back alley dirty like the shadows
but darker in heart
like locked doors in the adolescence of innocence's departure
From the parts of you that battle to come out
The ones you suppress to keep in check so you do not become the molester that was so set on the natural selection
That selected you
I invested a decade into realizing how much I hated you
Setting the message straight there was no second guessing in escaping you
I needed to
For me
For my children
For my mental illness
For my willingness to separate from that which was my orbiting abyss
Salivating and waiting for the hunger to take its fill
In a heavy rotation of calendar spilled days lined up at the gates of patience
But I cleaned out my closets on my own will
Why the frustration?
Why the sedated reality I kept myself enslaved in?
For my kids
But who was I kidding
I knew the bidding war would begin
All for the sake of spite and spit
When I decided to not fight and just split
And change my address again
Now I see my babies biweekly
The same frequency at which most people get excited for paychecks to deposit
I direct that excitement towards raising my offspring
For the time that I get
The memories we build
But the time is not fulfilling
And I miss them in ways only the sand could miss the sea
If one day it decided to retreat for some salty reason
When the days become weeks of the months of next year
I'll look back and think where I came from to get here
And I hope that I Will like what I see...