A Relationship Without Closure: When Will It End?

To the boy I liked a year ago:


I have written a post about the finality of our inexplicable vague relationship that blossomed to what I thought was something special. However, it dawned on me that your confusion of our relationship proves how weak the foundation of your feelings are toward me.

Therefore, you left me to die, yet again, inside.

I was left with the pain I felt when my previous love abandoned me. But, this time, it isn't that painful. I thought you should know that, I just felt dead inside. The feeling of moving forward and living life half-alive is torturing me from within.

But, I needed to be strong. For my friends, and especially for myself.

I decided to be jaded. Never again feel the perplexing feeling called love for it had showed nothing but trepidation, confusion, fear, and hate.

However, our so-called relationship still remains an open book. A story that never seems to end because of your sudden appearance and disappearance acts that yields confusion on my part.

"What is it that you really want?"

This seems to be the question I get myself asking every time you pop up into my life. A question that never seems to get answered by you nor I. So, is there a next book for us? or is this your way to stifle the guilt you feel inside? Whatever it is, I'm honestly tired.

I want to get off from this evident roller coaster of hell that we started to ride on because I feel like vomiting, and my head is spinning. I think it's high time that I get off and get on a new ride.

However, you seem to love riding the roller coaster and refuse to get off. You refuse to give me closure that I so desperately want so I can move on with my life. It has lead me to believe that you are clearly weak for your inability to end the ride.

But, this time. If you're to weak to end it, then I will. I know I am also weak from within. My interior is made of fragile glass that is susceptible to shatter. However, I'll gather all the remaining courage that I have to end things, for me, for both of us, so we could move on with our lives.

You don't have to give an explanation as to why you did all those cruel, heartless, and immature things toward me. I will be strong, so I can forgive.

It is essential to accumulate enough strength so that when the time is right. I can tell you how I really feel, how I felt about you, and why I have to end things. Because I don't want to spend the rest of my life being involved with you.

Maybe we can be friends in the future, or maybe not.

Who knows?

I just know that I need to be the one to initiate and write the last chapter of our seemingly never-ending story.

So we can finally walk away.



From: The girl you left a year ago.