My Emotions Will Hasten My Demise

Dear Diary,

As I've finally finished reading a lengthy novel, It dawned on me that emotions is the root cause of failures and poor judgement in just about everything.

I'm a big fan of Robert Kiyosaki because of his ability to accumulate wealth, and built a business from the ground up.

I've accumulated a fraction of his knowledge in an area that I am completely clueless about, and that is, finance.

Needless to say, I am a girl who has accumulated a huge chunk of cash in just a span of 6 months, in comparison to others. With that, I became rather arrogant and greed for more.

I am a person who can never be satiated with the amount I am earning now. I wanted more.

Yes, I am that greedy.

I wanted to get into the business of stock exchange. But, due to a lot of feedback and insights about the proportion of risk that you will encounter in the stock market, my heart faltered.

Though, I seem to gravitate towards that field due to the stories I've heard about how wealth can be accumulated in a long span of time, by being patient, insistently investing, and possesses a wide array of financial intelligence that can yield good judgement.

I have read countless articles and read financial books, that being, Mr. Kiyosaki's books.

It dawned on me that I cannot seem to control my emotions when it comes to the subject of money. I tend to make irrational decisions and bet my money without fully going over and analyzing the benefits of my investments.

I am embarrassed to say, that I have lost a considerable amount of money in the span of years that I am well and alive. Most of my decision on these expenditures stemmed from my greed, lust, and lack of financial intelligence. I haven't yet learned the difference between liability and asset.

A couple of months ago, I desperately wanted to own a car. What drove me to "want" this, is my desire to "fit in" with my so-called "friends." However, I learned that cars lose their value in the long term. The moment you sign the contract and pay your down payment, the car already lost a portion of its value.

Of course, my lack of financial intelligence lead me to poor judgement.

But, I am happy to say that, after all the constant whining and nagging my poor parents, something deep within me told my idiotic mind to avoid buying the car.

And, I didn't.

Thank heavens it saved me from an unnecessary liability of monthly payment of gas, insurance, maintenance, and the freaking car itself. And because of my job, as a freelancer, I am not able to go out of my house, so the car won't even be used quite often.

There are other times when my emotions got the best of me. I spent over, I mean, my mom spent over $1,000 for my student application to Canada. That was a fucking big mistake, as I found better ways to earn a living being a freelancer, online without the trouble of stepping outside the comfort of my own home and minus the "hardwork" that everyone is enslaved to.

The recent idiotic judgement that I have had that stemmed from my emotions is the dollar to peso conversion. I was just so emotionally excited over the fact that the dollar rose to 44php from 43php that I sent the money to my cousin for withdrawal. Weeks later, the currency rose to 45.50php. Thought about the loss.

These circumstances has led me to believe that I am not ready to step inside the world of stocks, unless I have to do something about my emotional intelligence and my lack of financial intelligence to make a sound judgement.

I have been considerably earning a promising amount of money, and I swear to the heavens that I will better control my emotions and not let greed and lust make better and cloud my decision making.


All the best,


ME