A Moment to Forget

I mumbled as I snapped my head with pillows. It's already past twelve midnight and I can't get myself to sleep. This has been happening to me for three consecutive days and my eye bags has been the proof of these terrible nights.

Images are passing through my heads. Moments of the past keep playing into my brain. I can't find any compound to melt these thoughts and eventually forget them.

"Don't be afraid to fall, just let yourself feel what it needs to feel, it's never a mistake to love someone," it's the line that keeps replaying into my ears.

"I can't live like this," i murmured to myself. I can't let myself fall because of teases and fake love bridges!

I lay in bed as comfortable as I could and covered my whole body with my blanket ornate with hundreds of of little flowers.

I tried to sing a lullaby and close my eyes. I tried to free my mind of anything that has something to do with him. I replace it with Science and imagine how vast the universe is, how beautiful the galaxies are, I journeyed my mind through the stars.

I could feel that my system is having it's shallow dream and at any moment my body would gave up on it's own and allow slumber to won.

I smile as I gaze the Milky Way Galaxy, it's beautiful and amazing! I could even see myself flying through space without any space suits. I feel relax and free but suddenly, I saw a man, I went near him. I knew this man, could this man possibly be my soulmate ? He's infront of me, his looks were quiete serious, I smiled at him. He's the man who keeps staying up late in my mind and now here we are face to face. I couldn't describe what I feel, it's beyond joy.

"Zachery," I whispered.

He looks at me.

"Can I ask you something? he asks in manly tone.

I'm not sure if he could hear the loud racing heart beat of mine, it's very deafening but I manage to stay calm, I nod as a response.

"Will you please FORGET me ?"

I'm not sure if I heard it correctly.

"Yes, you heard it correctly," he answered as if he could read my mind.

It's like I was struck by a thunder. Time stops, I could sensed it.

"but. . . , " I protested.

He didn't let me finish, "Look I'm sorry," he said, "it was not my intention to hurt your emotions but I don't want that feelings of yours to grew stronger, it would hurt you much deeper."

"How could . . ?" again, he didn't let me finish.

"It was just a joke ! It's not true, my friends were just making fun of me." he explained.

How did he know what I was going to ask him, I was right, it was just a joke, everything was just a joke, when his peers and my friends told me that he likes me.

Everything was just a joke and I was carried by that stupid joke. From the very beginning I've already warned myself that it wasn't true. I tried not to fall but I failed, the teases and the jokes were much powerful than I thought. I couldn't help it. And now here I am, rejected, he wants me to forget him, and that's exactly what I want to do, though it hurts I have to do it.

"Is that exactly what you want me to do?" I asked with a cracked voice.

A smile, curved into his face. I gave him a smile too. I may be smiling but deep inside I'm actually dying, can't help myself but tears start to fall from my eyes. I want comfort. How I wish he would hug me, but he wouldn't and it hurts more. I cried in tears, seeing him vanish from my eyesight.

I feel something wrong, something is really really wrong, I'm afraid, I run after him and hug him, everything feels right but I know it isn't right. I sensed reality. I hugged him even tighter.

"Don't worry Zachery i'll do what you want, I will forget you," I whispered into his ears, even though I've already figured out that everything was a dream. I'm hugging my pillow and yeah it's wet. Tears have flown from my eyes.

"It's just a dream," I mumbled.

I put my hands on my chest, and I could feel the pain from my heart. I started to cry silently again.

It was yesterday that one of his peers, also a friend of mine, told me the truth that Zachery wasn't really attracted to me and my dream was the manifestation it.

Since that day, I avoided him, even his friends, and anything that would remind me of him. I ask my best friend to help me get rid of Zachery, and she took care of those people who tease me, it's really good to have a best friend like Claire.

"Vanessa !" screamed by his peers.

I did turn my head a little and saw Zachery in the middle of them. I knew they're gonna play another game for me and I hate this

kind of game, i'm weak when it comes to teases, i'm emotionally soft and delicate.

I walk faster and pretend not to hear anything. I left my best friend behind. I won't let them do this to me. I won't let myself fall to that guy, even if in those times I've already did. I must do this while my feelings for him can still be manipulated.

******

I feel a little irritated as I glance a little at my wristwatch, "how long will I ever wait for that girl?"

Suddenly, a familiar stature of a man came in by the front door of the fast food chain I've been staying for almost half an hour. His eyes were familiar, so was his face, can't help but stare at him and remember who he is. He looks at me and gave me a sweet smile.

"Vanessa ?" he asks while smiling.

"Oh? ! it's you . . ." I declare uncertainly.

"Yah, it's me Zach, by the way what are you doing in here?"

It takes me a few minutes before I could answer his question.

"I'm waiting for Claire"

He grin at me and sit next to me.

"how were you for those three years that passed?" he asked.

"well, i'm totally okay without your presence," i laugh a little but he didn't he just keep staring at me, which makes me feel a very awkward atmosphere and a little guilt to myself.

Silence became our atmosphere. It's very deafening.

"did I say something wrong?" I finally ask.

He didn't say anything.

Oh! my? What did I say?

"Heya! Sorry Im'ah leyt! ! Oh, oh, oh! " Claire bumped into the scene.

"Zach! It's you !" she's so surprised.

That's where my role ends, they began talking of stuffs that only the two of them knew.

"Excused me for a minute" Zach said, finally I'm included into the scenario. I thought I became invisible here.

"oh, sure !"

And there he made his way to the comfort room.

I look at Claire, she's smiling widely and totally different.

"ayeeii. . . heart, heart, heart !"

I gave her a strange look.

"Do you still remember him?" she asks while making her own funny faces.

"ofcourse"

"what ! ? does that mean the two of you still have any chance?" she exclaimed with excitement.

"ahm, that's not what I mean, hellow? it's been three years way back then and everything changes right?"

Her expression changes, "I thought you remember him?"

I gave her a smile, "yah, I do remember him, yes I remember the boy but I don't remember the feelings anymore."

"seems like you certainly do and yah I have something for you," she gets something from her bag, "I must have given you this letter three years ago, it's the day you ran away from him and leave me behind," she hand me a card with a letter into it.

I was like having my heart entered into a race, I'm a little afraid of what kind of letter it might be. I open it with my shivering hands, the letter said :

Vanessa, I'm sorry for everything, for disturbing your peaceful life, for everything that cause you trouble now. I'm really sorry for liking you. Yes, I like you Vanessa, I do like you and I'm sorry for that. I don't know how and why but all I knew is that everytime you're around I feel strange and I don't know what to do. I know this might sound gay but please believe me I like you. I'm sorry for knowing it from my friends, I just don't have any guts to tell you. I'm sorry for denying this for some because I don't want you to avoid me, just like what you do to me everyday. I'm really sorry for everything. I hope you won't avoid me from now on and I also hope that I could be your friend for now. :)

-Zachery-

Tears flow from my eyes. Same pain I've got three years ago. I can't understand my feelings but all I knew is I'm full of "what ifs." If only I were a little stronger, things would be different, but everything's said and done.



"do you have any plans for today ?" Zachery asks as he walks toward us.

We just stare at him.



"I have an appointment later," Claire said while raising her right hand.



He looked at me like he was asking if I have any.

"how about dinner later ?" He asks as he understand my response.

"sure !" I politely and happily accepted.



What was that ? 0.o ?????

a DATe ????? :D

#GIveItATry :) :) :)

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