The Trials and Tribulations of Nothingade the Great

My arch nemesis, well not just mine, but rather the
whole cities, maybe even the world’s, Sir Sephtis broke open the door to the
classroom. As he made his way into the room the floorboard shattered around his
every step, and all could hear his creepy, spine-chilling maniacal laugh, if
you could even call it a laugh. His eyes glowing red with madness in them and
his formal attire, a suit, sharply contrasting the daemoniac presence he gave
out and rather give meaning to the Sir part of his name. He was quite young and
handsome to be honest. It was too soon for him to be engulfed in lunacy. But
here we were.

        He
slowly and methodically made his way around the room leaving the lingering feeling
of horror and death next to all he passed by. Then suddenly he stopped at one
desk. He looked down on the girl sitting there, Catherine, and she looked back.
She wasn’t afraid, not one bit.

        “If it isn’t the little
love of The Superhero!” , Said Sir Sephtis in a voice so non humane that it
could be described as a monster’s, “This time I am going to win. I am going to
rip his spine out! If he doesn’t show up, I’ll guess you’ll make a great
substitute!”
        He
barely finished his sentence when I, The Superhero(yeah, that’s my name, I’ll
explain it later), broke in through the window and flew right into his face
with my fists. He blasted backwards and into the wall, on his face you could
see a maniacal grin. He slowly got up. For a minute or two only glares were
exchanged between us. We have fought many a times, we basically knew what the
other was thinking right then. Me, saving the girl I love and the world, him
pushing the world into chaos by defeating the strongest person on the side of
justice.
        “You
do know I didn’t mean the spine ripping out part, right?”, Sir Sephtis taunted
me, “You and I, we both know who’s stronger. You’re living at my mercy! Heron,
just give it up. Your stubborn persistence to life only brings misery to all.

        He
barely got the words out of his mouth when with incredible speed he dashed to
Catherine, lifted her up, looked her in the eye and said:
      “She’s
basically all you have. Her passing has to brake you otherwise I don’t have any
contingencies. So I won’t kill her. Not right now. In fact today is just a
warning. A warning for things to come. And believe me when I say that at the
end you WILL bend to my will and your body will be the one lying motionless in
the cold. And with that I’m off! Hope to see you again!”
        Before
he left out the window he tossed Catherine full-force to the wall. I managed to
catch her in time. She was in my arms and with a fire in both our eyes we
looked at each other and our love finally fulfilled with a kiss...
       Or
I would love to say that this happened, but I’m not The Superhero. Paul, Paul’s
The Superhero. The Grade-A student sitting in the front. Everybody in the
school knows it’s Paul, but nobody would like to say. It’d destroy all the
mystique about him. He’s the one who is saving the world part-time, he’s the
one who has an adventurous life and he’s the one who got to the girl. Me? I’m
the one guy sitting in the back whose name nobody knows. It’s not fair! I mean
come on! I’m in love with Catherine too! Like really in love! Shouldn’t I get
the girl then? I try my hardest to be ideal for her, but no Paul comes along
and he has to be fucking perfect! They just both have to have affection for
each other! And by the way what kind of superhero name is The Superhero? It’s
so incredibly stupid! Like he doesn’t even care about the image of himself!
Life gave him lemons and he made tea sweetener! Come on dude! You could do so
much better! If life gave me lemons, I’d make the bloody greatest lemonade that
anybody has ever drank! But no, of course. Life gave me nothing. And I’m
supposed to make Nothingade!
        This
was my train of thought when I stumbled upon such a great idea that it rivalled
the likes of Newton’s and Socrates’. I determined to prove a superhero! Me,
without powers, without money, without talent would become the One, The
Prodigy, whose story would be told millennia down the line in the history of
the world! I would become the superhero, Nothingade.
        I would defeat Sir Sephtis once and for all in
his own games and expose Paul for the asshole that he is! I sure do hope so
that he’s an asshole, otherwise this would be quite awkward. And to top it all
off I would get the girl as well. Well, not Catherine, ‘cause she’s quite
obviously in love with Paul, but I’ll pick out another whomws my heart can throb
for in a hopeless endeavour hmm... Ashley will be fine. She seems nice, she’s a
cute girl too. Yeah, it’s settled! Ashley is my new one and only true love! But
of course, I want my name to be known as well. That is precisely why I have
just contacted my lawyer and told him to pick this story up and print this and
all my adventures(you can bet your ass I’ll be chronicling everything!) out as
a book after my passing. Oh man, this is going to be so great! My children with
Ashley are going to be so proud of their awesome father. I can’t wait to be
appreciated to my fullest extent.

           But of course I know what
you are thinking. Nothingade? An incredibly stupid name. I know, don’t worry,
but I can’t exactly drop it. It’s just so incredibly symbolic of my beginnings
and powerful. Like I feel like I just a shed a tear! I can make it cooler
though. From now on I shall be called Nothingade the Great. See? Much better.
And I’m already thinking about the history. They don’t even have to name me
great. I’ve already done it for them.

        Now
that all of that is settled we have to get through the boring, but always
charming part of becoming a superhero. The humble beginnings. First of all my
costume. Now, I have a lot of ideas. Namely one. That was to go full on
literal. With nothing on me. I don’t think people would like that very much.
Nor would I like it to be fair. Let’s first settle for a colour. Let’s see. I
need something that says I am not afraid, that strikes fear into the hearts of
my enemies. So unfortunately blue is out of the equation. Black is Sir Sephtis
and green is The Superhero. So I guess I’ll be red. I don’t have that many
resources, but I feel like I could get the money for a red leather get up, a
cape, fingerless gloves, ‘cause they are cool and well I need a mask. I’ve got
it! I’ll go for a festival kind of mask, but made out of something more solid
and painted red. To fit the colour scheme. And how could I forget. I need a
logo! Ah, well, don’t have any drawing skills, I’ll just outsource it I guess.
Oh, and a weapon! I mean, I don’t want to kill anybody outright, but I still
need something so that I have any kind of power to do the things I want to do.
I’ll settle for brass knuckles, I’ll build it into my gloves.
        Been almost a week since I
started writing this. It’s coming together ever so nicely! I’ve got everything!
Except for a logo. I ran out of money. I’ll be logoless for now. To be
completely honest with you, the costume right now looks like a piece of crap.
But every big superhero’s first costume looked like a piece of crap, so I am
still completely in line with a great origin story. Now, I didn’t write this
down, but I’ve already hacked into the police radio(well not hacked in, but
pick-pocketed a cop), I am ready for my great debut! Fame, fortune and my one
true love! I’m coming for you!
        It’s been almost an hour
and I haven’t heard anything exciting
        It’s
been a day now. This city is more crimeless than I thought it is.
       It’s been waaaay too long. Oh,
wait here we go! Armed robbery! Oh man this is my chance! I just have to
intercept them and then beat them up good. Sounds like a motherfucking plan to
me! Wait, why am I still writing? I’ll chronicle my heroics after I get back
home!