Stay, one way or another

Nylah is seriously beginning to have edgy moments around her husband. He was unfaithful to her. Piling reproach after reproach upon himself, he added aggressiveness to his adultery. She knew this was the beginning of the end.

She was more than upset: he began to grow silent, unresponsive, grim as the dark starless night as if he did not hear her cry each night when they slept at the end of the bed they still shared. He was unfaithful to her: and oh, in such a trivial way. Oh, and also he was gradually turning into a narcissist, isolating himself from responsibility, she failed to see deeply hidden beneath his charming aura in their 8 years of marriage. Such shame, such shame! She pitied herself. But he only smiled wickedly now, which he so carelessly denied to hide and asked her what she wanted.

She said, “ A Divorce”

He quickly said — “Sure”, without giving it a second thought, or without thinking about their daughter, who still did not know what was happening between her parents.

It pained Nylah, to think now that her daughter will be soon feel abandoned, and alone.

As she thought of her husband’s betrayal, her lips curled and nostrils flared. Her head a great deal of throbbing with the blood gushing into the veins. Her once sunny and loving happy family memory, now felt tarred and disfigured. She kept her gaze off him because she did not want to make eye contact with him, she was still so heartbroken by his behaviour, his betrayal, wondering how he could walk out of his family, with a blink of an eye.

She bitterly stifled and made herself comfortable on the doormat spread across the floor after he left slamming the door, right across the room, with an unsympathetic shrug. They say a bad parent was a traumatized child, maybe Dev was caught in the fires of his suffering, thoughts more like a hurricane than poetry. I guess!

Deep down, she believed that there exists a road to forgive, a way to see the bigger picture and move on without having to break this family, without abandoning their daughter, head held high. When we identify it, we can learn to heal, learn to work on the relationship, learn to love anew and approve of each other in a way that is deep and calm. Then they could become good parents and start a new cycle that is loving and healthy, plant a good seed in the rotten wood and watch the new spring grow without drifting apart.

Nylah had lived without her mother, lonely, starved of warmth, little Nylah often stared into the blank wall as she grew up as she did now, looking for answers. She was drowning in the sorrow of her childhood and how her marriage slipping right through her fingers, yet a spark of strength within let her stay strong for a few moments, for her daughter. Then a stream of tears emerged from her eyes along with bitter sobs and screams. What had she done to deserve this dejection? Outcast by her family and frightened by society, all alone she had nowhere to call home if Dev left her. Even though no words came back from the stillness and emptiness in the house, she could hear the sounds of nature, tickling the tip of her ear, keeping her company, giving her strength, to attempt to give her daughter Lily, a normal childhood she deserves.

©Shweta, 2020. All Rights Reserved.

This story first appeared on my blog here on 30 March 2020; Find my creative works here - Baking of Words & Muses.