Reborn to Love

Exhaustion nailed Mia’s frail body over the clear white sheets. With eyes shut she lay helplessly as her skin soaked in the last few hours of the reddish-yellow tinted sun rays, seeping in through the blinds halfway drawn over the window; before, it set off to rise above and spread its glisten in a different horizon. Rakeer slumped onto the floor grimly banging his back against the wall refusing to wipe away the tears trickling down his cheeks. He stared at the entity he was holding close to his heart, a reminder of his first love. In the first millennium, the Roman poet Virgil had written, “Love conquers all things; let us too surrender to Love.” Well, Rakeer couldn’t help but scoff at those words and wonder what Virgil would’ve had to say if he’d heard Rakeer’s counter arguments. Surrendering to Love didn’t help conquer all things; it could never prevail over the brutality caused to him by fate.

“Hey, welcome to Cape Town!” Rakeer had lifted his light brown eyes to lock it in with the blue ones staring straight into his. His heart had pounded against his chest. If he were to repeat this scene to someone, they would have concluded the throbbing to be the first signs of love at first sight. However, for Rakeer it had been anxiety knocking against his ribs owing to the fact that he was the only questionable foreign student in a class full of unfamiliar faces and cultural background. It had been his first experience travelling alone to reside and study in a foreign land.

“My name is Bianca, your expedition specialist in Cape Town.” Bianca had let out a hearty laugh, breaking for him the barrier he had built out of fear, in case, he wasn’t going to be socially accepted. She had become his new best friend in a new land. Luckily for him, she had liked his accent, casual dressing sense and overall shy demeanour.

“Yes, my name is Rakeer. I’m new to Cape Town and soon to be old news in this college.” Rakeer had been confident to speak with humour in English. His dad had insisted he was to attend, the one and only famous English school in his hometown back in India. His father’s desire was to hear his son speak fluently and to assist the family to grow and expand their clothing business into the foreign markets.

“What made you decide to take up a degree in this college?” Bianca soft, sweet voice added to her overall magnetic persona making it hard to not feel at ease, whilst talking to her. She had genuinely cared about what he had to say without holding any prejudices against his opinions.

My need to be independent and I’m running away from being forced to take up the family business responsibility, he had thought.

Rakeer had kept his personal thoughts deeply hidden in himself. He’d dared not mention them out loud for the fear of letting down his father and family. It had been his burden to bear and probably one that would pass away once he’d completed his degree. His aim for the next few years had been to enjoy his freedom away from expectations and blighting love. Rakeer had always been under the impression that Bianca would’ve never understood what he’d felt because she’d been brought up in a different culture, tradition and even country; but she’d proved him wrong.

In the months that had followed, she’d learned to understand his unspoken words. Culture had no voice; personalities talked. Creed had no position; perspectives had a place. Bianca had even managed to show a keen interest in Bollywood movies. She admittedly had found them interesting; but stretched. Who could’ve blamed her; he’d also preferred watching movies that were made for the viewing purpose of hour duration and then some.



“I liked what the college curriculum had to offer, plus Cape Town is a beautiful city to live in. My screenshot for a year has been a picture of the famous Table Mountain.” Rakeer remembered her smile.

“I think India is amazing with its cultural diversity and colourful clothing. I would love to visit it someday.” It was on that day, Rakeer had promised himself he would return the hospitality favour extended to him by taking Bianca to visit his hometown and show her the real, truly Incredible India. They had added friends to their circle, but had still remained best of buddies. Love had not changed its status to romance, yet.

It was only at the end of the first year as he’d returned home to visit his parents did his safeguarded emotions turn on him. One of his cousins had seen some pictures, standing alongside Bianca, posted on his social media account. Noticing Bianca as the common factor in all of his pictures; he concluded they were madly in love. Sounding off the so-called love affair to the family, had resulted in a hostile meet and greet session with his father at the airport. The truth was, Rakeer had never thought of Bianca as his lover, until he had been wrongfully judged, confronted and forbidden to love anyone who is not worthy of his ethnicity.

“You want marry this…this…white girl? You love her?”

The white girl phrase had steered something in him. Prejudice wasn’t the colour Rakeer had seen in Bianca eyes.

Growing up in a middle-class, joint family system, in India; life wasn’t bad at all. Just because there was the word middle attached to class, didn’t mean one had no luxury. It was a modest philosophical way of living, adopted by his family members for generations; to help stay humble and rumble at the kids to think and act simple.

Having boys was a sign of prestige to his family members. Girls though in his family were cherished for the sole purpose: to take up nurturing roles someday- to support the family- for which their surname would be exchanged- after marriage. Boys were the only gender destined to carry forwards the family’s traditional name for generations to follow. Once they are ripened in age, they would be married to a woman from the same caste and tribe. No one minded it, nor dared to question or break customs; till Bianca had walked into his life.

“No. We are just friends.” His dad wasn’t fluent in English, but he could add a few words here and there to construct an emotionally effective sentence.

His parents had believed him; nevertheless the discussions which followed the next few days after his parents had interrogated him, had woken up something in his inner being. Everyone had a word of wisdom to share on how ‘inter-marriages’ don’t work.

It had been a learning experience especially on how close-minded his family could be. If he were to ever end up choosing to marry a girl other than one his parents’ had picked, he may have had to bid adieu to all of them. Inter-cultural-caste-creed marriages was a ‘never to commit’ act in his family books.

He had felt like an alienated, caged animal in his very own home. Ironically, a foreign land and its people had cared more about his emotions and his needs. His love and respect for Bianca had grown. Bianca, he had thought was his only way out from all that was holding him bondage; family and fears. To love her was not a hard decision to take; however fighting for her against all the taboos, had been. Inter-anything was a daring act to perform. It would’ve been considered an abomination to the family system which had been shaped for generations.

On his trip back, Rakeer was lost in thoughts. Bianca had been in every one of them.

“How was the family welcoming committee?”

“They think we are in love. It wasn’t easy convincing them we aren’t.”

Bianca had let out her hearty laugh and walked off. Later, after they had reached the level of true openness of love, she’d told him it had been her way of avoiding any further talks on the matter as she’d developed feelings of love when they had been far apart.

“I love you.” The first time Rakeer had heard and said those three words aloud, he’d experienced wholeness. He’d never understood why his family had made such a big deal over marrying out of the same culture. The language of Love had the same results; twinkle in the eye, goose bumps on the skin; overall it gave one sense of worthiness no matter which religion, gender, belief system or colour they’d belonged to.

At the end of the third year Rakeer had decided to take Bianca along to visit his family in India. It had been a tough decision to take, but he had mustered the courage for Bianca sake.

“Namaste.” Bianca had folded her palms together in respect as she’d greeted his father. In the weeks leading up to their travel date, she’d managed to learn a few words in Hindi and had purchased an English-to-Hindi translation book.

Seated in the back, Rakeer had seen the anger in his father eyes in the rear mirror reflection as he drove them back to his house. Though they seemed shocked, his mother, two sisters and most of the women folks seemed a more accommodating towards Bianca than he’d imagined.

Bianca had undergone major changes overnight. She’d coolly managed to ignore the cold stares thrown at her and had gone shopping with his sisters to purchase the traditional Indian attire to wear for the remaining days of her stay at his house. His mother had taught her to braid her long dark brown hair and given her the customary tikka to wear on her forehead, worn only by married women, in his household; a sign of her acceptance.

Rakeer heart had melted seeing the unconditional love they’d showered at Bianca. It was then he’d grasped how wrong his thoughts were about his family. His father though still refused to talk to him. As each day passed by, Rakeer had seen a twinkle rising in his father’s eyes each time he’d said ‘thank you’ to Bianca, when accepting the cup of tea handed over to him by her. It was his mother’s idea and it had worked to soften him up towards Bianca.

“You will marry her?”

His father’s question had caught him off guard. It would’ve been the perfect setting for a scene from a Bollywood movie. The rooftop garden lit up by the flickering flames inside the lanterns hanging down on all the four side of the wall.

“Yes, I would like to.” His father had patted him on his shoulder as he walked off; a smile sealing his approval.

A few months after his graduation ceremony, they had tied the knot in both continents, honouring each other’s religious beliefs. Almost five years later, his fate had brutally punished him and his pain had turned into numbness for years thereafter. Rakeer had lost Bianca to Breast Cancer. Surrendering to true love hadn’t conquered anything for him, but in fact it had let him down.

He had met Mia, his second wife a year and a half ago. She’d helped him accept his destiny and suggested naming their new born daughter, Bianca. It’d given him a desire to move on and a reason to love again. Bianca had loved kids and had dreamt of having three of her own.

The pathway of love begins with hesitation; then, it moves onto the next lane to insight. As soon as one reaches to the end of significance, a branch of rebirth can be seen attached to it.

Rakeer looked down at the new born child curled up in his arms sleeping close to his chest. Bianca was reborn to love him. It was a new day of new beginnings.

“I love you, Bianca”, he whispered into her ears.