MY SAVIOUR, YOU THINK

They say when you die your life flashes before your eyes and usually you get some sort of epiphany, well something like that was happening to me right now, I thought as the man continued disfiguring my face with slaps and punches, and by that time I was already too tired to cry. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I had not planned my evening that I’d get battered and beaten by a white man, but it was exactly where I ended. I had left the house for the egg store earlier in the hours. Mama had told me not to stay out too late due to the whole crisis and there was going to be a curfew at the black side of town and, I had to get back as soon as I can. So I didn’t even remember to take my jacket because I was in a hurry I hurried down the stairs very hurriedly and was soon on my way where only a black leggings and a skimpy green floral dress on. “Talia how’s mama and papa today?” mama Rafi asked me as usual as soon as I got in front of the counter. She was one few black people that didn’t hate my papa. “They very fine” I answered with a smile As we conversed, all of a sudden there’s a loud noise a gunshot actually, a black guy was trying to rob mama Rafi’s store, “Everybody down” the masked man ordered “You!” he pointed at mama Rafi “The money now I haven’t got all day” he screamed at her as she fumbled out of fear to five him the money at the counter. The men had held for a much longer time I was supposed to spend at mama Rafi’s and after he left, every customer left quickly not wanting the authority around, but mama Rafi did not call the police what the thieves had taken from her wasn’t as much as what the cops would take from her. I left the store after mama Rafi had calmed down and was soon on my way back home, having it in mind I was going to tell papa about what had happened at mama Rafi’s. I was hurrying home as fast as I could, because it was getting really late. With the eggs in my hand, heart racing very fast and after what had happened earlier at mama Rafi’s, I had no more confidence to face more calamities. As I ran faster and faster, getting closer to home, just around the corner I could see my street up head, feeling a lot safe and no longer scared, I stopped for a minute to catch my breath close to a dark alley very close to the street. As I stood up to continue, a white hand came out of the darkness and grabbed me by the hair with one hand, dragging me and covering my mouth with the other. I had a small statue and was very young it was pretty easy for him to pull me, I struggled as well and much as I my little strength allowed me but it wasn’t enough to get free from his grasp. He then released me closed to the end of the alley and stood blocking my way. He was a stereotype white man, tall, fat with a protruding belly, he was dressed like a biker with a jean jacket and dirty jeans pants and it was obvious he had been drinking because he so stank of booze and, the look he gave me was so savage, like a predator to his prey but in the present situation I was he’s to prey on. “Make this easy for me and you’ll be on your way soon enough.” He said referring to me “But, if u don’t then, we are goanna have ourselves an argument my little sweet thing.” He then added smiling widely and showing he’s dis-arranged yellow set of teeth. I don’t know what he was expect but all I knew was that I wasn’t goanna let his man touch me again and as soon as the thought came to me, I made a run for it but he was quite fast for a fat man, and son caught me as I was about to make it pass him, he dragged me back quite violent that the force sent me to the floor, as I was about to scream he held my mouth nearly breaking my jaws as if he was going to twist them, the pain only made me want to scream more. To me it seemed the more I struggled the more he enjoyed it, and all the while he was smiling, the leggings I was wearing wasn’t a strong material, and he easily began to rip it off my body, as he concentrated on peeling off the leggings, his hand slipped into my mouth and I bit him really hard, he didn’t scream, he just began to batter on my head until I could not take it anymore and let go of it, even though I had the will to keep fighting, I had lost all strength to actually continue. Now he was mad, and I had even up, and, the only thing I begged for now was that he doesn’t kill me. He continued disfiguring my face with slaps and punches, and at that time I was already too tired to cry. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I prayed in my heart for a miracle because nothing short of this would have been enough to save me. He had torn open my blouse and bra included and had almost had his way with me and, at that moment, my miracle came. He was taller, slim, and handsome for a white man with all that was dressed formally. He bashed the molester on the head and while he still struggled to get himself, my saviour, took me by the hand and pulled me away, both running away to no direction in particular. All my concern was getting away from the molester and, after about three minutes of running, we arrived at the front of a classic British sub-urban house and he took me in, it was apparently his house since he had the key in. On getting in he had offered me his jacket and then gone inside to get some cocoa. He then came back and gave me come clothes to change into and handed me the cocoa and while I took it he asked me to narrate everything that happened and while I did, he listened, after the whole thing, he gave me a room to lay my head due to the fact it was already dark, this was the first time I had ever met a nice white man, I had taken my bathe and then changed into something more comfortable And, laid my head to sleep. Later that night as I slept on the bed he had provided, I heard the door slowly creak open and due to the fact that the lights were off, I could see the long shadow of the person. It was him, my saviour, Alan was he’s name. I was a bit glad he was around, because I couldn’t sleep and was big scared. I pretended to sleep and he came around to sit at the side of the bed. He tapped me lightly and amorously, and at that moment I turned to face him with a smile on my face. “I wanted to know if you were okay.” He said smiling at me “Am much better sir, but I couldn’t sleep.” I answered him trying to sit up but he held me softly pushing me back on the bed. “What’s with this entire sir? Call me Alan, we are friends aren’t we?” he said again “We are” I answered smiling back He then began to touch me slowly and then started running his hands on my thighs softly. Now fear was beginning to set in. I was wondering what he was doing. “Sir, what are you doing?” I asked fearfully as I tried to shift away from him. “We are both adult and you understand what am doing, to be fair I really like you actually.” He said smiling and trying to pull me closer to himself as I struggled to get away. “Please sir don’t do this to me, haven’t I gone through enough please sir.” I said pleading with him “Am not trying to hurt you Talia, I want to love you” he said again still trying to draw me even closer. Now I was completely scared. How can similar calamities happen to me twice in one night? This time I was willing to do anything to get away from him. I reached slowly for the table lamp beside me and smashed it on his head with one heavy swipe. He didn’t scream but got up staggering and nearly losing his balance. I got up and ran for the door only getting there to find out that he had locked it, I looked back and there he was standing dangling the key in front of me before shoving it in his pocket, the smile on his face had disappear and replacing it was a dark sinister expression less look. It was then I realised that there probably was no escaping this one. “I cared for you and help and all I asked from you was just something small and you refuse me of it. Now am really going to hurt you.” He said not smiling at all As I was trying to plead with him, he didn’t even give me a chance and though he was slim, it turned out he had a lot of upper body strength. He easily lifted me and threw me across the room, my back shattering the table and as tried to get up but couldn’t I had lost all strength and I was losing consciousness. Out of some deep inside of my soul I summoned a strength I didn’t know I had and decided if I was going to go down id go down fighting. I lunged at him that it surprised him, but it wasn’t much of a fight, he just slapped me away right back to the bed. This time all I had on was the bath throb he had earlier given to me. Is was easy to get it off me but I made sure it wasn’t easy for him I held onto it strong enough he would have to tear it off my body, but he just continued hitting me until I let go of it. He removed the bath throb exposing my bare body, he started fondling on my just developing breast, and I tried as much as possible to stop him but he was obviously ready to kill me. He had beating me so bad that I could no longer lift a finger to resist and at the end of the struggle I had no choice than to let him have his way with me, I had never had sex before and I had to lose my innocence to a savage white man. All the while he committed his atrocity, it hurt worse than even the beating I had received from both men that had assaulted me today, even as much as I cried and begged him to stop, he didn’t and just continued to satisfy himself and ignoring my cry of pain. After he was done, he left me there broken, and innocence lost, there was blood all over from cuts tears and bruises I had gotten, I could not stop crying I can’t believe this still happened to me, I was stake naked and all he did was get up and leave locking me in. after some minutes, he came back into the room facing me and standing without a single trace of guilt in his eyes. “What else do you want to do to me, the only you can take from me right now is my life and right now I’d gladly give it to you.” I said to him “Your life means nothing to me, you are worthless.” He said and dragged me out f the bed with my clothes all ripped and all, I was screaming but he just hit me even more and kept dragging me until he finally pushed me out of his house and locked the door, where would I go now, it was the middle of the night. Now am standing at the edge of a bridge completely naked and bruised all over ready to end my life and thinking how my life was ruined in just one night, thinking of the stigma I going to live with and the things I’d have to face what if I get pregnant and give birth to a whites man bastard? I looked down into the river and without hesitation, let go of the railing and plunging to my death freeing me of the misery of this worthless life.