David is going back to his home one day before the halloween with many dangerous things like a knife, a rope ,a stick and many more with him in his car..On his way to home suddenly a small child comes in front of his car and gets hit by him.David stops the car and comes outside to see what happened to that childbut for his shock that child was not there.David thinks that he should go from there as nobody has seen him hitting the child so he should flee from here.After this david sits in his car and go back to his home.On the next day its Halloween and every children is going to different houses for 'trick or treat'..One child came to David house and knocks at his door.David opens the gate and says-'what happened?what do you want?. That child asks him-'Death or Death'.David says-'what have you said'?.The child says-'i had said trick or treat'.David gets angry and say him to go in the hell but suddenly he thought he should teach this child a lesson so that he never ever comes to his house to disturb him.David says-'ok i will give you treat and asks the child to come inside his house.'The small child comes in David hpuse and suddenly david hits him and ties the child with the rope.
When the small child gains his consciousness he sees that he is tied with a rope and David is standing in front of him with a stick and a knife.The child gets scared to see that all and asks David to leave him.David laughs.After this David comes near him and start beating the kid with the stick.As he continues beating him after sometime light goes off and when light again comes ,this time the tables have turned and now that child was not tied with the rope but instead of him it was David.David thinks how can this happens?and where is that child?.Then suddenly a shadow comes near him and beats him with the same stick.Then that shadow disappears.David somehow opens him up and ran from his house and he ran and he ran..After somethime he reaches near a lonely and dark place like the place where he had hit a small child with his car yeaterday.Then a shadow again comes and screams louldly and a few seconds later may shadows come there and they all screamed loudly.David goes deaf for some moments and suddenly he hears the voice of a car coming near to him.He thought to take help fron the car driving person.
When he sees the car ,he comes in front of the car and stops it and ask for the lift to his house.And suddenly the get starts and hit him....and all the shadows starts fading in the light of the bright sun and a new hope of life can be see there....
The Veil of MidnightOctober 22, 2015 - 13:33 Kind of confusing. It could use some explanation and try to use pronouns.
VelantraOctober 22, 2015 - 14:09 I am confused as well, did the car hit him in the end? or did some one else also hit him with a stick?
rekhanshiraghavaOctober 22, 2015 - 15:38 Confusing... But I like the plot of the story.... This could be written in a better way... Well... Not scary but a lesson..
Sharmishtha ShenoyOctober 22, 2015 - 17:32 Yes it is confusing. May be you can use more words to describe better. Beginning was exciting and good
Manahill NaikOctober 22, 2015 - 19:54 i agree with the above comments.. could do with some work in description, tenses and character building .. liked the plot though :)
shivam mauryaOctober 23, 2015 - 03:53 thanks all for your comment...this is my first story which i have published here..i will take everyone's comment as an advice and i hope i will write in future with more clearance...thanks once again...
nupur27October 23, 2015 - 07:05 I too am confused with the sequel of incidents tat occurred!!
Well tried on the first post though!!
All the best for ur coming write ups!!!
crystal123October 23, 2015 - 08:51 Nice horror plot, but you did a mistake in this line"he small child comes in David hpuse " hpuse is suppose mean house right :)
Lea EbioOctober 23, 2015 - 14:57 you also have a good story to tell...like most people would say...read and practice and practice writing...i know you'll be able to make your work better..anyway I like the values of your story...
JoyOctober 28, 2015 - 15:07 The plot of the story is nice buy there are many typo errors...gud first try... All the best :) u can also chk out my story The Halloween Night and give ur feedback :)
Susan JacobOctober 29, 2015 - 20:21 The plot was good but yet a bit confusing.....Keep going :)
shivam mauryaOctober 30, 2015 - 02:36 thanks all for their suggestions....i will keep them in my mind while writing my next post...
Lorenzo A. Fernandez Jr.February 23, 2016 - 13:21 Thank you for upvoting my stuff.