BOND OF LOVE

Sunil was my only son…But that doesn't mean that he was spoiled by me…No I did not pet him more than necessary .So he grew up to be a very obedient and good boy .May be that was in his genes .To tell about his genealogy ,I would have to go a bit down the memory lane ..As his dad was dead since ten years. I was the only parent for him since then .But those were the days when I was able to relax and at the same time be alert .I had a full family .I was the house wife, with all the responsibilities of a dutiful wife and a doting mother .Life was full of hopes and happiness then .Rajan was the perfect person .He had no short comings to be noted .May be he was a little careless with finance .But that was not a big fault (little did I know then that that was the major fault that did all the problems to us after a time .)Rajan died a broken man when he was just settling down, with less burdens and lesser financial problems .God had something else for me in store .My son grew amidst all the these problems and tribulations .But saw to it that he was brought up well. He went to lofty heights career wise. I was the proud mother to his well-being. Things moved slowly but surely .Life was starting to look glorious and wonderful .Sunil was a very well established business man .He was working for a multinational company with all the prospective of making it big in international markets .Sunil was indeed a keen business man. Every other day he had a very interesting incident to tell me about his achievements and ambitions .He was well loved by his boss as well as the subordinates .What more could a mother ask for .To see one's son prosper with all the love intact .is the one good grace any mother could get in any state of mind . So that was exactly what was happening to me too Years rolled by with happiness and merry making .Everything took the similar shape as we both wished .Then Sunil fell in love .She was his secretary .Not exactly his secretary..But an ubiquitous figure, who was there at every one's beck’n’call. That was one quality about the girl that Sunil got attracted .She never tired .That was what he told me first.. 'Mom, you should see her effervescence .She brings life in to that dull atmosphere." I knew then that my son was falling in love .But I kept quite .That would have been like rushing his own emotions .He was in a state ,when he himself was not able to name the emotion he was feeling towards her .Of course he was indeed very impressed with her ."What is her name "? I asked him one day .He was getting ready for the office .But he immediately replied "Sneha" The reply was so spontaneous that I started feeling guilty at not having asked him the same a few days before .Now all my doubts were cleared. He was indeed falling in love with Sneha .Because how come he answered so aptly, when I asked for a name It could have been a query for any name .How did he come in to the conclusion that I was indeed asking for the same girl's name ? That was the first sign that the chemistry called love had started acting on him. Now as a mother my duty was to find out whether it was mutual. So that was exactly what I did too .I did not want to waste time beating around the bush. So one evening, as soon as Sunil reached home from office l confronted him with the question. “Sunil. Are you in love with Sneha .I have a feeling you are conflicting too much with yourself to find an exact answer .Why do you fear the inevitable? There is no need. It is only quite natural.." Sunil was dumb struck by my outburst. He must have wondered how well I could read his mind..I waited for my queries to sink in then I was again at it .But this time Sunil was the first one to talk.” Yes mom …I am in love with her .I have a feeling that it is mutual. Because I can get the chemistry as a very favorable one" " Then what are you waiting for .If I had not asked about this, what would you have done .Sunil this is not the proper way to tackle such delicate situations. You would have to be more upright " I stopped for a breath. Sunil was laughing to himself. I knew why he was .Because the situation was very funny and strange .It was that of a mother trying to bring out the love chemistry hidden in her son's mind. But in our case it was not at all a strange situation Such was the rapport we shared
The next few days were all very charged with excitements and anticipations. But it was all so nice..Sneha’s parents proved to be the best couples I have ever come across .They were so overwhelmed with happiness .Because everyone would welcome Sunil as their son in law. He was a gem of a boy both in looks as well as character .We were not very rich. I had a house of my own. That was what I had inherited from my family .The major share of the family wealth had flown to me as I was the most downtrodden financially .My other two sisters were very comfortable financially as well as emotionally .As they both had a very settled married life.Fate did not allow my husband to live long enough to keep me company and also to see his son prosper. The wedding was a simple affair with little pomp and pleasure .Sneha lived in the same state as that of ours. So she was not in the proverbial tears when coming to our house.Thank god for that .Otherwise I would have felt quite guilty. I wonder why..I know the heart burns of leaving one's parents to become a parent oneself. An entirely new ambience and life style..So I decided to take special care of my daughter in law till she started to feel at home here near me.. Days and months rolled by Sneha didn't leave the job, although I had insisted .She was of opinion that two earning members are always better than one. I knew how right she was .So I kept quite Seasons rolled past with break neck speed. Sneha was now 6 months pregnant. I was in cloud nine with excitement..But my excitement had an untimely death, as Sunil came with the news that he had to be away.. The company was posting him in USA..!!!! It was indeed a very good news. But it came to the wrong place and person .Sunil too was in mixed feeling and emotions. "Mom'. He started .I know it is very difficult to arrange to take you along with me. Because they are letting only one family member with me.Either the wife or the parents "..I didn't allow him to complete the sentence …'Sunil" I interrupted "Where is the problem? I did not know that the company was allowing one of the family members to travel with you .So that means you are going to be away for a long period. So why think twice? Sneha is of course coming with you .Don't bother about me..I can find a way out. Shall ask Nani amma to come and sleep here.” With that note the subject was closed for that day. The preparations for the trip abroad was going about in full swing..I felt a kind of tight knot in my chest .Yes after 28 years of being with him now he is leaving me for a foreign land and its wide opportunities..Nothing can stop the course of actions .My son who was and still is my world was about to go away from my horizon. I have to contain it all…as he was leaving me for a good cause..But I was not able to stop the stream of tears thatwere being uncontrollably disobedient The lump in my throat and chest was growing in to a life sized one and I felt I would burst at any moment .No nothing of that sort happened..Because some where inside my heart a soft and soothing voice soothed me. It was for a good cause he was going. His life would change for better ..Besides he is not alone. He would be having his dear wife too with him .So as a mother it is my duty to keep calm and not lose my composure.
The role I had played in his life was indeed taking a back seat.And that is called LIFE.Sunil too looked a bit woebegone..But nothing compared to the trauma I was feeling from inside..He was excited too. Visiting a foreign land and being there for the next few years is not a thing to be taken lightly. I remember now that he was always so very positive about going abroad, earning more living a hep life. Yes that exactly were his words since teenage. The departure day dawned with a pluvial look .may be the nature was also being emphatic. It looked as if the nature was also crying. I was finding it difficult to cover my tears..The plane to USA took off with the swiftness of a smooth fly. There airborne was my dearest son with his wife. I looked up till the plane disappeared from my vicinity. There some where beyond my vicinity lives my son. Now airborne..Later in USA.
Coming back to my house was the most excruciating pain..A home that had so fast become a house that consisted of bricks and cement and some dull furniture. Everything had lost its meaning .every thing.My son was not here then how can they retain the glow .Life seemed to have ebbed out of my house .a"OH! God. Why are you giving me so much pain..! Why did all these things happen..? I know it is a good thing for Sunil. But I was opting to be selfish instead .his happiness away from me was becoming a matter of concern for me…I had wanted him to employed here in India itself.. May be in a better financial position. But what is the need of thinking it all up and still getting in to more and more heart burns. I had asked an old maid to come and sleep in my house she was all the more willing.Sunil phoned me as soon as he reached his three room company guest house…Soon he would be moving in to a place of his own ..The company would arrange all those for him. He was there in a very prestigious post. My mind said a silent prayer for him and his dear wife. I had already started to wait for the day when he would be taking me too to his place. It was near to impossible to be here all by myself.Come to think of it, I missed him more than my loneliness could tackle loneliness. But cannot be away from him. It was silly. But that was how I were .I preferred being silly. Days scrawled by…More than once I sent Sunil a mail, asking about his health and well being.
Sunil was fine .He was equally excited too as he was to be a father in a matter of 2 months.Sneha gave birth to a bonnie baby in June .they named her Shwetha.i was ready to go to him. But things did not move favorably as there was a problem availing Visa. But I was willing to wait .Sunil had a plan to settle down in Singapore as their company was opening a branch there, and he was the first option for independent charge there, Sunil was more than willing. So there was a chance that he would settle in Singapore. And it was quite easy to get a visa too there Morning s lacked the vim and vigor. It was on one such morning that a little bird came and perched on my window sill. It was shivering as if it was winter.I did not know why, but some sympathy crept in to me and I went near the tiny bird. It was a robin but it was writhing in some pain slowly took him in my hand. Surprisingly the bird did not flinch. May be it's pain was more than the fright..I did not know what to do. I called to my maid...She came running in ..."What is the mater madam" she enquired.” I think this little bird is in pain. See it is not even flinching when I took him .Don't you think it is surprising?" I was very surprised "let us take it to some doctor …" "But do you know any, Madam? "Then let us find out "So for the next several minutes I was engaged .I found one doctor .I was in a hurry..A poor little life was ebbing.I did not want that to happen Doctor examined the bird and told me not to worry as it was a little chill due to last night's rain."Why Mrs. Kumar? Are you going to worry about this little wayward bird .Let him be.Just don't bother.It would rectify all by itself."The doctor ended the talk with a silly remark..
Yes it was a little wayward bird. But it did come to me didn't it? That was surely not it's way wardinessBut I did not say such thoughts to the doctor He had done his duty well A few hours past this incident, the robin was up on it's wings chirping it flew away..I forgot the entire incident.
But little did I knew then that I was to remember it the very next day. Or rather Robin was to become a part and parcel of my lonely life.Sun streaks were filtering in to my room, as I opened my eyes..and the phone was ringing endlessly .it must be Sunil .So I gathered myself and ran to take the call .It was Sunil ,with a very happy sound . He was telling me how fast he is trying to get the visa to take me too to Singapore.As I was listening to him I saw that same tiny little robin flying in to perch on my window sill.. SO I told Sunil about the entire incident.Sunil thought I was really being silly. May be I was. As soon as the call ended ran to the window sill .Robin sat there looking at me with its cute bead like eyes. It looked as if he was trying to say thanks. I slowly extended my hands to him.He sat there unflinched .So that was it. I had a company now .Since he too had a story to tell about his loneliness .Maybe he too is in need for a company. But why me? I did not ponder much on that .instead I went inside and took some grains and fed the bird..I did not know what to give him still he looked complacent with whatever little I had to offer him. But I wanted to give him something that would really please him. So I rummaged my brain..Yes birds love fruits and so that was exactly what I was going to give him I fed him with milk and fruits.Somewhere inside my mind, I was feeling a little strange about the behavior of this tiny little bird..It was not a common sight to see such unnamed birds getting friendly with human beings. Still I was enjoying this friendship. It looked as if he really enjoyed being with me. The feeling strangely was mutual .robin flew away after the sumptuous meal and made a sweet sound as he flew away. It must have been a "thank you"! . I went about my household chores, Nani amma would come back only in the evening. Because, she was working elsewhere too and she had a family to look after I did not mind being alone now.I was anxious to see the little bird.But robin did not fly back that evening..I was worried..What ever was happening to me..By 6 in the evening I gave up hope..I closed all windows and doors..And took my prayer book and went to light the lamp. Did I hear that familiar chirp? Yes it was robin out side I ran to the door opened and there he was sitting pretty on the window sill. I ran inside and took a banana and gave a little from it to him. He started nibbling it from my palm. I felt a kind of oneness with that tiny bird.
A very strange and pleasant relationship was developing Days passed by. Robin and me became best of friends.He would often come and sit perched on the window sill .I even made a cozy cage and bed for him .Not that he was interested in staying there .At times he did come inside the cage. Robin was almost like a human being in most of his behavior .He knew my moods so well…He would stop chirping when the telephone bell rang..He listened when I talked in to the phone .Some times I would prattle to him..At times I would tell him about my Sunil and his wife..How he was desperately making arrangements to take me.I felt as if robin listened ardently on such a day once ..While I was telling about my son to robin, the phone rang..It was Sunil..I knew the why he was calling even before he said it …"Mamma..I am coming over. And you know what..This time when I go back you too are coming with me..Every thing has got finally settled. Now you would never ever have to be lonely .I can't just wait to be with you So next Friday I reach there and Sunday we are taking off to Singapore .!!"Wow wow! I was not able to believe my good fortune. The wait was over..Finally we are going to be together again.I have to decide about so many things and there were just a few days more left .My main concern was about the disposing off the house .I would have to ask nani amma's son to take care of that ..He was infact in to real estate too .
So many thoughts were crowding in to me at the same time .I felt dizzy both with excitement and ecstasy .In all the excitement I had completely forgotten about the tiny little robin ..He was sitting there reviewing everything. I ran to him and said "robin my wait is over ...Sunil is at last coming to take me with him .Well, isn't that good news?" Robin just listened, and chirped just once and flew away I felt very uneasy .Was it tears that were glistening in his tiny eyes? How silly I was being .As if birds could cry!!!But I was sure I saw tears in robin's eyes. Even otherwise he was indeed a strange bird so stranger things can happen.That night I was unable to sleep .I turned and tossed in my bed.My mind was wandering. It was not about my impending trip .But it was about Robin what would happen after I left him .Will he able to survive. Poor little Robin! I am sure he would find a way .With that consoling thoughts I slept and dreamt of robin..Robin was sad even in my dreams.. And he was trying to tell me something.I woke with a nagging headache. But Nani amma came home early.There were so many preparations to be done and so much has to be settled..That was why I had asked nani amma to be with me always for another week till I set off..Friday was the happiest day in my life since Sunil's departure to America.There he was now with a smile on his face .He had put on some weight. But it did not in any way take away his handsome looks. Marriage was doing him good .It did suit him..Sunil was also so happy..He was anxious to see the strange bird called robin .One way he felt a kind of affinity towards robin .Because he played a crucial part in taking away his mom's loneliness to some extent .but robin did not turn up that day ..I felt a kind of lump in my throat "Mom .What is the matter with you "? Sunil noticed my dullness ..."No.Nothing son .It is just that I am sad robin has not yet turned up.""So? What is the matter with you?”Don’t be foolish .After all a bird is a bird "Sunil stopped and looked my way .He did not want to elaborate his view point then because robin was more than a bird to me.”Sunil, shall we take him too with us?." "What do you mean mom robin won't be able to survive in that place .As he is a local bird .He belongs here .It is strange that he got so close to you ..' ‘What is so strange about it "? I was getting annoyed. Not because Sunil made any bad comments. Whatever he was telling me was just the right thing. But I was getting very irritated because Robin has not yet turned up. But by afternoon he was there and I was happy .I told him that I would be gone by Sunday morning. Sunday morning dawned and we were about to take off to the airport..Nani amma had come with her son..I had entrusted the entire responsibilities of the house to her son Shiva and when some very good bid came for the house I had even given permission to do all the sale procedures accordingly..
Even while I was discussing allthese, my eyes went wandering up to the window sill .Where is robin?. The taxi came and my luggage was taken in to the taxi slowly..With some good byes I got in to the back seat of the car. And slowly, ever so slowly I turned my eyes to the upper window sill and what did I see there? Perched on the window sill was little Robin..I saw a kind of pleading in his eyes .Or did I feel so? I felt as if I was leaving behind something precious.. And I knew I did not want to do that.OH God. What will I do now ' I could not help crying? I was not able to leave my little robin, what would he do with out me..Sunil had his wife and child .Whom did robin have? No one..I knew that. Yes he needed me as much as I needed him. That was what those little beady eyes were trying to relate. I made my decision then and there..I turned to Sunil who was already getting in to the car.. "Sunil. I am not going anywhere .I have to be here. Robin needs me.”You carryon son.I shall surely be in touch telephonically. Sneha, I am sure, would take care of you well. But who would look after my little robin? He needs me more now. He was the one who took away all my loneliness when you were away .Now I think it is unjust to leave him alone, when he doesn't want to be left alone “Saying thus I climbed out.Sunil`s cajoling and pleading fell on my deaf ears I slowly turned and opened the door and went upstairs and to the window sill,took robin in my hand and kissed him to my heart`s content.

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