And she left me

Shaina! Shaina! Shaina! my heart kept on repeating this word. Shaina is my love but we are having a bad phase in our relationship. I think I am too possesive and sometimes I feel so insecure. DO LOOKS REALLY MATTER WHEN YOU ARE IN LOVE? I think Shaina is much more prettier than me but she loves me ...MAYBE NOT! last week we broke up because she was dating another guy. FUCK! and she admitted that. IF YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP THEN YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THESE THINGS I GUESS! But Shaina proved me wrong and she broke my trust! lighting up my cigarette and taking long puff and thinking of Shaina and cursing myself! and she called me and said Saurabh! plz forgive me ..plz I love you and then what I am supposed to do??? Yess ! I did that and replied with these sentences- Shaina! You think that you will call me.n dat emotional blackmail will work this time again! I guess then you are dialling a wrong number because its not the first time that you had broken my trsut . I ALWAYS THINK THAT YOU ALWAYS HAD CONTROL OVER MY BALLS ! But this time...NO! ..I still love you more but if trust is not there in a relationship..then its of no use and I think we should seperate ...Break up! Although I hated this word but this time I had to use this word and Shaina replied that sorry Saurabh ! for always breaking your trust but I BREAK UP! I guess ! you are right because I dnt feel for you the same. and I cut the call and took another cigarette and still I was shocked that instead of apologizing she just ...I mean! I HAD GIVEN UP ON HER BUT STILL SOMEWHERE DEEP INSIDE MY HEART I KNOW ALL WILL BE GOOD AND THINGS WILL TURN AND CHANGE THE SITUATION IN MY FAVOUR BUT I KNOW THAT NOTHING IS GONNA HAPPEN AND ITS ALL OVER NOW!