A whisper, A wish

Every night, before I force my eyes to close, to give me some little rest, little peace, I look at her.
From my window, where the cold breeze comes in, that makes my skin shiver from it's lightest touch, there she was, in the middle of the midnight sky, shining so big and bright, adored with little sparkling diamonds and blanketed with soft eerily silence.

She' so exquisite my eyes hurts from looking, but then a sad smile tugs on my lips and as I close my eyes, a lone tear tumbles down my cheek. I open it again and stared directly at her, a muffled sob suddenly emits, she stared back at me and I feel her pain, we stared in each others eyes and I nod in silent agreement.

Another sob escapes my throat and I clamp both my hands over my mouth to stop myself from emitting a sound. I can't let someone to hear, it's not about that I won't it's about that I can't. I curled up in my bed as my chest starts to tighten. I took few calming breaths and look at her as I whisper "Please light his path so that he can find his way to me"

Every night that I share the words, a wish I wanted her to fulfill, because I know someone out there is meant for me, someone who will hug me and say "It's okay not to be okay", someone who can forgive me, when I can't even forgive myself, I know someone is there just waiting and waiting, like what I'm doing...

Now, YOU think I lose a screw in the head, talking to the moon as the night rolls in, like an actual human in a flesh. But guess what? She's better, because she's the only one that listens to my silent pleads.

Every. Single. Night. I talk to her while I wait for this someone who will save me before the darkness in my soul creeps in. Because you want to know the truth? I feel so lonely that everyday was like eating my own heart, bit by bit, pieces by pieces.