TRUTH ABOUT LOVE

It's been seven years since my parents separated. I was ten years old back then, ten years old and yet, I know love is just some kind of a lie in the world. It's like a tragic nightmare, once it comes into your life, it sure left you a catastrophic memory you don't want to remember.

In those ten years, I always wake up hearing screams from my mother. It was not new to me because I'm always used to it. But the fact that there includes crashing, smashing, breaking of glass made me jump out of the bed in terror.

It was a few weeks when my mother found out that my father is head-over-heels with another girl. At first, I just shrugged the thought out of my head because I knew my father loves my mother. Because I knew my father loves us and he wouldn't exchange us with this new girl my mother is suspecting.
And because I trust my father very much I don't want to believe what my mother is making.

But all I believed in had come to an end.
I arrived from school early that day, I arrived too early my father never expected me to be home. And there, with my very eyes I saw my father making out with this new girl on the couch.

My bag fell on the floor and they were caught off guard.
My mother was right. She is always right about my father.
And now, my mother cries in hysterics while throwing vase, shoes--anything she could find to my good-for-nothing dad.

"HOW DARE YOU ASK US TO LEAVE THIS HOUSE? FOR WHAT, SO YOU COULD BRING YOUR ITCHY BITCHY SLUT GIRLFRIEND? HAH. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO SHOULD LEAVE!" She throws my bag at my dad again. Dad was able to get rid of it.

"IF YOU WON'T LEAVE, I'M AFRAID I WOULD BE FORCED TO SELL THIS HOUSE. AFTERALL, IT'S MINE!"
And that's when I joined the scene.

"Really, Dad? Is that what you really want? You want us to leave just because of another girl? Dad, all my life you were my hero. You were my savior but now? You're nothing but a hound dog." I say as I grab my bag, running away with my pajama's.
"Daphne where are you going?" I hear his voice as I storm out of the room.
"I'm going to hell, want to come? Or maybe you want to go first!" I shouted leaving them in disbelief.

How dare he? What kind of person is he? Instead of doing the responsibilities of being my father, he refused to do so. If all men would be like that then they deserve to die.

I hate him. And I hate that girl too for ruining my family. And I hate myself more for caring so much. So what, if he wants to leave? It wouldn't kill me. So what, if he's living with another girl? Then they should live together until they die for all I care. But he's not just any man. It pains me everytime I remember him. He is my father. He is someone I couldn't just ignore. But I'm afraid he ignores me so easily. It is not fair especially I'm his only daughter. For now.

But I came to realize that the world is full of assholes. And now that I've accepted it, it doesn't change the fact that my father left me and my mom. I used to think that maybe mom has made a mistake. That maybe the reason why my father left is because she didn't give him what he wanted. Like the bond of marriage, sex.
Yet, I knew it was pathetic for me to think that way. My father is just a jackass, really really a jackass. I'm sure he doesn't deserve to be even called father.

An author says that everybody would find true love. She says true love will always come, we're just too impatient to wait for the right one. Well, I wanted to slap her face with her book.
Too impatient, are you kidding me?
It's not only my family which had been broken. In fact, a lot of families do and a lot of children suffer too.

Even my beloved aunt who believed in love didn't end up experiencing happily ever after. She's this kind of girl who sticks with love at first sight. Yes, she used to tell me she found her one true love, her husband. For years, they'd been happy. They have two children, a boy and a girl. My aunt love her husband very much. And I thought he do too. But no.

After all those years, he just dumped her leaving her like she was not a part of almost his lifetime. My aunt was two years younger and I bet her husbad was in his early forty's. When suddenly, he poisoned her then left with no one else but her brother's daughter.
My aunt shed tears every night not because her husband poisoned her but because he left her. My poor aunt doesn't deserve a guy like that! Good thing she was cured. But she refused to plant hatred in her heart.

She says, "In life, Daphne, you have to stay strong. And maybe someday, I'll realize he's not the right one."
"You still love him?"
"I'm afraid I do."
"But he poisoned you. He left you how come you still love him?"
"In life, there are things that's hard to explain. You just let the things unfold in their own way. You just have to float through it."

No! You're wrong. Life isn't life if you'll just float through it! You have to fight for the things that matters most. I want to say these but I'm afraid I was wrong because I know nothing about love aside from believing it was a nightmare. I just kept silent instead.

My poor aunt had lived for five years after her husband left her. But she died because of heart attack. It's all too sudden I couldn't even believe it. I still remember her sing, "I'll just keep on dreaming till my heartaches end.."
It must've been really hard for her to keep her heart disease as a secret. She had enough time to tell us about it or maybe she's just afraid nobody would listen to her. But I'm here. I'm all here. She had been strong. She will fight. And she would survive but she's gone now and I miss her so much.

God, please take good care of my aunt because she's one of the few.
My aunt is the perfect example of many people who died waiting for their true love only too late to realize the truth about love is: It's a lie.