The thief

by lordpeterofquelch
It had happened again.
Mr Kibble closed his eyes and shook his head as he leaned mournfully over his broom. Yet another stock-full of avocado’s had been stolen. The third this month to be exact. He was as determined as ever to catch the ne’r do-wells that were plaguing upon his innocent little store, and he had a mighty-fine idea who they might be. He turned his head to see his prime suspects, George and James, galumph into the store with skipping-glee. Ready and eager to submit their enamel to the joyous destruction of penny sweets and candies.
“Good day to you sir!” said James in a pleasant voice. George didn’t say a word, he didn’t like the way Mr Kibble was looking at them.
“We’ll take two bags of gumdrops please” James said, reaching into his pocket for coins, “One for me and one for my friend here!”
Mr. Kibble didn’t answer. He was to busy in his staring-standoff with George. Finally, Mr. Kibble broke the silence:
“Do either of you boys know what has happened to my avocados?”
“I’m afraid I do not know sir!”
“Neither do I!” blurted out George, startling James “Now how about them Gumdrops huh? I’m-”
James covered Georges mouth with his left hand, and promptly apologized to Mr. Kibble for his outlandish words. He didn’t take his hand off of George’s mouth until he had escorted him out the door and around the corner:
“You bloody idiot! What were you being so rude to him for?”
“He was looking at me funny!”
Just then, the two friends stiffened up with fear. For Old lady Kibble, Mr. Kibbles fearsome mother, was scuttling down the sidewalk towards them at top speed, gripping on to her cane for dear life. “I heard you two boys were causing trouble at my sons store” she spat “He sent me to question you.”
“Before you ask us any questions” said George, stepping forward and raising a finger, “My good mate James asked to buy gumdrops for the two of us, which he never recieved. I say we oughta’ get a refund yeah?” James moved in too cover Georges mouth once more. But this time, George saw it coming. “We should yeah?” he asked again, using one arm to hold James away from interfering with his upstanding display of bravery in the face of demonic evil. Old lady Kibble bent down to Georges level until they were staring each other in the face in a way that made it look like they were hunting down each others soul’s to eat raw.
“To. Hell. With. Your. Gumdrops” she spouted through her wrinkly, cracked lips “And don’t EVER come back to my dear son’s store again!” and with that, she scuttled back down the street. Presumably to go into the apartment above the store and sit in contempt over the way the world had changed. James and George parted ways until the next day, when they went to meet back at their meeting spot around the corner from Kibbles.
“What is an avocado anyhow George?” asked James.
“It’s a fruit from the new world that resembles a monkey’s dung”
“Must you always be so vulgar?”
The two friends were about to turn the corner when they heard the hushed voices of a vocal exchange not intended for the ears of eavesdroppers:
“Are you certain this is a good idea Peggy?”
“This’ll be the last heist Maude, I promise, my son would never suspect me anyway, he thinks it’s the brats from down the street who are taking the stock”
“It better be”
“It WILL. After this, the knitting club will have enough Avocado’s to last until fall. Now hurry on back to the clubhouse.”
Who would’ve ever thought that crusty old, sickly-sweet hag like Old-lady Kibble could be the infamous avocado thief? George and James drew their weapons and waited for the old bitch to turn the corner.
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