My dear loving wife,
I was up for the past few days. I can't put my finger on it, but I really have a strange sensation in me. So, I want you to know a few things, if the tingling sensation is true and I am unable to convey this message to you personally.
If you are reading this letter now, probably something bad has happened to me. I know the news would have shaken you, and I am extremely sorry for not being able to hold you and I am sorry you can't hear me comfort you.
But, trust me, baby, I am there with you. I am next to you, hugging you and kissing your worries good bye.
Now, first thing first. I want to thank you for the million times you took me to watch PS: I Love You, albeit my cries of being too 'chick-flick'. Only because of that movie, did I get the idea of doing this for you, for my baby boo.
You knew, flying was my passion, and sometimes, I have ignored you, to satisfy my passion. Nonetheless, you never complained. You have always been supportive of my passion and always routing for me silently. I never got the chance to say this..but I have always appreciated the love and support you had for me and my passion.
Dear love, I know the world would be a terrible place to be in right now. Obviously, there will be some naysayers and people who pass bad judgement about what happened up there. I wish I would be given a second chance to explain to all those alive, about what actually happened, and the rationale of my decisions. Unfortunately, I know I won't be able too.
I want you to stop listening to all those bad remarks. I want you to read on the positive notes, all those wonderful people who would pray for all the souls to rest in peace. Always surround yourself with positive people.
Darling angel, don't be sad that I have left you. When I was alive, I was not able to spend your birthday for the whole 4 years we were together, and this year, without you realizing, I was with you, I am sorry you were not celebrating. Trust me, I am always going to be by your side, no matter what. I am going to be with you for all your birthdays to come.
I don't worry what others think of me, but I do worry about what you think of me. You mean the world to me.
I want you to know that whatever had happened, I tried my best to keep the plane under my control. Of all the person, I know, you realize that flying was my passion, and I would do nothing to ruin it.
As a captain, you knew the burden I had. The burden of being responsible of all the innocent lives on board my plane. I have failed them, my love. I have let down the trust of all those who boarded my plane, who put their lives in my hand.
But angel, whatever that happened, was out of my control. I tried my best, to the best of my knowledge. Nonetheless, sometimes things are out of control, and this possibly was one of those days.
Of all the people in the world, you knew how much a person's life meant to me. Let alone hundreds of life.
As my better half, I want you to be strong. I need a favour from you dear.
I need you to be a pillar to all the crew of the airline. As how you have lost a family member, they too have lost us, they lost more than one loved one. Please convey my message to them.
Tell them I said:
"I am sorry for letting you down, all of us on the flight can never imagine the amount of pressure you must be facing right now. But never break down. Our airline have had a good run the past years.
Now that we have joined the heavens, we promise that we will always be there to support you. We will protect you and will be by your side."
Secondly, I need you to convey this to the families of the victims. Tell them I tried, tell them I didn't want to leave too. Tell them I am sorry.
Dont worry sweety-pie,
I will be with you for all the special days, and if you have this sensation as if I am there, trust it. I am.
I want you to smile, my love. Smile because I was doing what I do best when it happened.
I do wish I get wings here, as I can fly without an aircraft!
Forever flying in your memory,
(This story is continuation of The Captain, My Lover)