Being a product of a broken family, in which I'm not at all too proud, I have experienced many hardships in life. Our parents both have their own spouses already, and I and my sister are pretty much living on our own now. Thank God I have a permanent job and some online part-time jobs, I could provide for our own needs and send her to school (she's now in 2nd year college). But before having all this now, I had to take some big risks in my life. The first risk and probably the biggest one I took happened 7 years ago.
I came home (at the convent where I'm living with nuns) from school one day and found my mother sitting in the living room. I sensed something unusual because she doesn't usually visit me there. She looks gloomy and was silent for a couple of minutes.
"What is it Mother?" I asked her.
In a hushed voice she said, "Could you just go back home and stay with us, Lyn?"
"Maybe the nuns won't be able to send you off to college because they wouldn't have enough money for that," she added.
I didn't know what to say at first because in the short span of time I spent with the nuns, I have come to love them and learned so much from living with them.
Then I told her, "Mom, I don't want to go home. Honestly, I'm not sure if they could send me to college, but I'm willing to take the risk than do nothing." My chest tightened while telling her that because I know I could hurt her even if it's not the way I wanted it to be.
"Okay then, if you ever think that you won't make it while you're here, just go back home," she said in a downcast manner. I think I even saw a glint of tear. Maybe she was trying to hold back tears.
I then accompanied her to the terminal when she decided to go home. As she climbed onto the jeepney, she turned to look at me with sad and hopeful eyes. I smiled to tell her 'everything will be fine'.
The jeepney forged ahead and I felt the tear stinging in my eye. I could still feel the poignant emotion when I seemed to have rejected her request. But I know I did the right thing.
Looking back at it now, I don't know what could have happened to me if I didn't took the risk of turning her down. Because of the decision I've made, I was able to go to College, have a degree, get my license, and finally, my job. What more could I ask for.
Sometimes we have to take risks that often leads to successes. We may hurt other people, the ones we love in the process, but as long as we are doing it for them and for the better, it will all be worth it.
"Take your risks now. As you grow older, you become more fearful and less flexible…Limit your 'always' and your 'nevers.' Continue to share your heart with people even if it’s been broken." - Amy Poehler