Rainy suicide

by Mahoobee
How cruel you are to me
You pushed me into a hole
I fell and I fell in so deep
You spared my heart,
But took away my soul.

"Excuse me, miss" A soft nudge from a dark hair stranger.

"Yes?" I whimpered.

"Are you alright?" He asked, concern layering his voice.

I nodded but the tears won't stop. I couldn't stop shaking. The polite stranger gave me a tissue and I thanked him.

"Young lady, whatever you are going through, I hope it will pass and you would smile." He said before turning away and making for the exit doors.

It will pass.....I hope I would become use to this pain until I become immune to it. Throbbing, throbbing, this pain in my heart. 

You promised me light
But left me alone to dance
In the middle of the night.
You promised me,
That I won't see cuts on your skin.
I won't hear lies from your lips.
But you took it all away
This is why tears drip
And I miss you so much today

It was raining when the train finally reached it's destination. The country side was green and promising. I stepped out of the train, looking for my friend, Alan. She was to pick me up and take me home. Her place would be mine until I would be able to find my own.

The platform was almost empty except for two to three people. Alan was one of them. She came up to me, waving her hands in the air.

"Mila!!" she said, hugging me. 

"Alan, hey!" I said, softly. 

"I am so happy to see you again. You look so..so different." She said, looking me up and down. "I haven't seen you since we graduated from highschool. Five years ago!"

"Yeah. I am glad to see you again." 

Her place was fifteen minutes away from the small railway station. The farm yards, the lake, passing before me seemed so different from the city life. 

Alan was living in a three storey building. She gave me a spare room which was nicely furnished and the window provided a lake view. 

I stripped myself from my clothes and took a cold shower. Arms folded against my chest, water trickling down my hair, I gazed at my reflection. Puffy eyes and eye bags. 

Tears dripped down my cheeks and my heart kicked against my chest. 

There was a light at the end of the tunnel.
I wanted to show you,
But you had other plans.
I wanted to help
You said I was cruel.

"Mhmm!" I chewed, the taste of egg noodles tasted so nice with meat broth. 

Alan grinned. "I could order us pizza later in the night, if you want."

I shook my head. "No it's fine. You are already doing so much for me."

Alan punched me in the shoulder, playfully. "We are best friends. You are the only one who has the right to steal my nutella and get away with it."

"I did that, didn't I?" I laughed.

"Back in middle school." She said, mimicking my facial expression. 

We laughed. It's been a while. I thought. Since I laughed. 

Putting her spoon down, Alan glanced my way and cleared her throat. She placed her palm on mine. 

"Tell me." She asked, not breaking eye contact. "What brings you back?"

Tears welled up in my eyes. Memories begun to flash before me. I shook my head. The pounding in my head came back.

"A-Alan....He killed himself" I wept, biting my clenched fist. 

"Oh, Mila. Don't cry.." Alan said, putting an arm around me. 

I cried for a while. Alan held onto me, telling me white lies such as 'everything will be alright.' and stuff. 

"Are you okay?" Alan asked me, giving me hot coffee to drink. 

I gave a small nod. Staring at the candles, I felt tired. 

"Sean was depressed. After he stopped going to therapy, he told me that he is alright. I believed in him. We booked a vacation to Europe. I applied for two months holiday from my workplace. He was so....so excited and so happy. We kept talking about the trip. I planned to..." 

I started to sob. Alan patted me on the back and wiped my tears with a napkin. 

"Sean even started to attend his office...I had so many plans for our future..I even bought a ..." I bit my lip.

"A...ring. But...On the fourth June's evening, I bought it. Sean promised to come home early. That's why I was so shocked when I came home and saw the lights out. I went into our bedroom and knew why... "

You said to keep my eyes opened.
I didn't know why.
Little did I know, dear mate.
You wanted me to see every detail about you.
Before it was too late.

Alan was silently crying. I shook my head and cleared my throat.

"He overdosed." 

Under June's rainy sky,
I stood in the dark hallway,
Shock lacing my screams.
Night turned to day,
I stood under the black sky,
shaking your dead body,
To give me a reason why!?


Not a poem, heh? Just a random story of a random person. 

>How's is it, lemme know. :)
Let others and the author know if you liked it

Liked it alot?


June 5, 2017 - 20:27 ^This is the first draft, I will edit later
Sharmishtha Shenoy

Sharmishtha Shenoy

June 26, 2017 - 17:23 Great one - very unusual combination of poem and story. Loved it :-)


October 1, 2019 - 19:47 Hello i am miss Brenda i have private discusion with you via at(piesbrenda106@gmail.com)

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