Love Your Life

Im pissed off right now!
I don't really know why. I think I am just overtired. I heard some dude on his phone reciting a line of numbers and it just set me off.
Were just fucking machines. Who act according to the schedule. To our bank accounts and SSN
We are all assigned numbers and everything we do depends on our number.
How old are you
What's you phone number
How much money do you have
What's your pin
Account number
Routing number
Password
ID
What time is it
How much more time do I have
What's the date?
Can I take this day off.
Oh I need to plan out my next two weeks
is the schedule up?
YALL CAN GO FUCK YOURSELF
What do you do?
What's your job?
Income?
Level of education?
Experience?
How many years?
FUCK YOU
What if I told you
I'm broke as fuck
I live my life day to day
I have no idea what I want to do with my “future”
Or what I will be doing in the future
I don't know when I am going back to school so stop asking

IM OK THAT MY LIFE IS UNCERTAIN AS FUCK

I don't need to fucking have this road map all lined up and color coded
showing me where my life will go.
That's fucking IMPOSSIBLE
I didn't even know I was going to be living in Colorado a year ago.
The thought never even crossed my mind.

I have tried to plan and plan and plan
but it doesn't work.
And it never will.
And that's fucking ok.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE
and I don't fucking need to.
I am living right now. Just trying to enjoy the in between moments.
The moments when you fuckers aren't asking what I will do with my next one.

Why are we a society so concerned with the goddamn future?

Make sure you have a good credit score so you can take out a loan and buy a house and a car and have 2.5 kids and live in white suburbia with the white picket fence.
“I just want to be comfortable”

FUCK THAT
I want to step into the uncomfortable
I want to sway away from the schedule
and the life plans
and the path of life.
Fuck that.
I want to walk in the grass while I watch all the other fuckers march on the path.
Then I will call you over one by one until you all realize life doesn't have to be lived this way.
We don't need 9 to 5
Paid vacations
100,000 piece of paper that says you might have learned something in the past 4 years.
Why can't I put real life experiences on my resume?
Not just work experiences.
Why do I have to volunteer just to look good?

I actually enjoy helping people but I don't have enough time because I can barely help myself from falling on the ground every time life knocks me over.

Why do we praise the dollar bill and doing whatever it takes to acquire more of them?
Why isn't it ok to be a bus driver?
Why can't they be happy?
Why can't I be ok with out a college degree?
Or my fucking life planned out.
Yeah I want to study neuroscience and I know I am smart
but why isn't it ok that I want to teach kids science?
Why can't I be happy on a salary of only 40k?
Because the you said so?
Because I won't be able to afford my dream car?
Or my dream house?
You think those things make people happy?
It doesn't.

You know what makes me happy?
When I find myself laughing at work.
Sharing life experiences by traveling or sharing stories with others.
Exploring something new.
Reading a book.
Drinking a nice black cup of coffee.
Maybe a cig on the weekends.
Ridiculous trips to Austin that you can barely afford.
Road trips to California.
Making new friends.
Making a stranger smile.
A warm summer night.
Yoga yoga yoga.
My inhale
and exhale.
Holding hands.
Making food with others.
Watching a movie.
Eating chocolate.
Listening to music
Dancing in my underwear.

Relax.

Did any of those things include a nice new car?
Fancy house?
Paid vacation?
Expensive items?

What did all of those things include?

Love.

Love your life.
Don't just exist.
FUCKING LIVE!
Do things that take your fucking breath away.
Step into the uncomfortable
Into the unknown
Do it!

Stop living by the schedule.
The bank account.
The dollar sign.
The what if's

Stop!
Start loving your life right now.