Inner Thoughts

Believe

When people don't believe you, it feels like a stab.

And you look for someone close to find comfort while you're bleeding, only to receive another deep stab — they don't believe you either.

You walk away, and your wounds start to sting more like it got rubbed by salt. Because you came to realize, you have no one else that cares.

You're all alone.

---

Social
Trying hard to fit in, but you just can't blend in. It seems you're never fitting in.

Looking at them, jealousy or longing? Maybe both.

How can they get along so well — when I can't.

Do they know how much I want to be like them — I guess they don't.

I parted my lips, but their bored looks stopped my words. I closed them, and smiled at them before slowly leaving.

I was standing by the side, hoping it can end. My emotions are swirling inside, I can't stop it, let me leave.

I thought staying there, I could be safe, but then someone stepped on me, and I thought maybe someone could take the opportunity to struck up a conversation, but no.

She demanded an apology.

So I guess even my existence here was a hindrance now.

I don't belong here, even if I want to.

--
Promises

I learnt.

Don't ever make promises you are never sure you can keep.

When you look back in the future, knowing it was never granted, it's bitter I tell you. So painfully bitter.

What hurts even more?

The promise was made by me, but I'm also the one who broke it.

I'm foolish to make such promise with you, my friend.

I was foolish, to make such promise, and to be friends with you.

--

Leaving

My heart left some room for you to stay. Soon I realize it wasn't just some room, it was all my heart had.

In the end, you left.

You have your circumstances, I know.

You had no choice, I know, too.

Because you told me so.

Your heart no longer has me in it, that, I know, too.

Because I saw it in your eyes.

So I guess everyone leave someday.

---

Leaving 2

hold on to you, like you're my lifeline. Slowly I feel you slip away, trying to free yourself from my grasp.

I tighten my grip on you, hoping you could stay, even by force, even if I knew you didn't want to.

I know it hurts you, because it pains me too.

But if I let you go, I'll die, won't I?

From loneliness.

--

Holding on

I knew you would leave one day, yet I chose to talk to you.

I knew you would walk away one day, yet we got closer.

I knew this will leave a scar, but I still willingly let you hurt me.

You will leave, I know.

But I couldn't stop myself.

Blinding my eyes, I chose to forget for now, that you'll never be with me till the end.

Because no one would.

I'm always alone.