I Don't Love You

I chose to end things,

Knowing it would hurt us,

Knowing it will hurt you more,

Knowing I'll regret this.

--

But the feelings I once had,

Was no longer the same,

And the promises we had,

Had seem to fade to nothing.

--

The love vanished,

Like how water turns into vapour,

And in my eyes,

I no longer see our future.

--

It took me a lot of courage,

To open my lips,

That no longer speaks to you,

That no longer smiles at you.

--

Trembling words slowly crawled out,

Out of my dry lips,

They started to tear your heart,

Like how they did with mine.

--

I thought you would scold me,

I thought you would hate me,

I thought you would hurt me,

But you didn't.

--

I thought I'll be fine,

I thought I won't cry,

I thought I can finish this,

But I didn't.

--

You said while tears rolled down your cheeks,

Telling me to take care,

Telling me you didn't blame me even if a bit,

Telling me not to worry about you.

--

You went on and on,

Telling me you would still be there,

Telling me you'll be waiting,

Telling me you still love me no matter what.

--

I cried and said nothing.

Remained silent as I hear your heart break.

I held back all sounds,

Hoping you wouldn't notice, and hoping my heart wouldn't waver.

--

We both knew,

I had no choice,

But it still hurts the same,

But more for you.

--

I hadn't expected,

The sweetest words you still say,

The promises you still give,

Even after,

I have broken your heart.

--

It was silent,

And all I could hear,

Is your crying sounds,

It felt like eternity,

Hearing your endless sobs,

--

I felt stabs in my heart,

But I couldn't comfort you,

For I am the one who caused you pain,

All I can do, is feel the pain with you.

--

There was a second,

Where I thought I would take back my words,

Telling you I'm sorry,

And let things go back to normal.

--

But I knew,

Even if I really did,

And things went back to normal,

It wouldn't last.

--

So I repeat my words,

While beads and beads of tears rolled down,

Breaking your heart once more,

'Let's break up.'

--

You accepted it,

Because it was my decision,

You said you'll be waiting,

If by any chance,

I would once again love you.

--

But you didn't know,

That all I said was lies,

My love for you,

Never once vanish.

--

But this will remain a secret,

That I hope will never reach you,

Because for now,

I couldn't love.

--

I will lie to you,

That I don't love you anymore,

And I will deceive even myself,

That I really don't.