I’ve been reading a lot lately, and one of the things I learned in my reading is that people tend to believe in that they are special as an individuals. Perhaps in way that no other people are like them, they are one of a kind. In a way, this people are rather unpleasant isn’t it. I used to wonder what kind of a man I am and tried many things for self-discovery purposes. One of the many things include listening to indie music, watching cliché romantic movies, dwelling into math and the most recent, reading Francoise Sagan novels. In the end, I couldn’t decide what I want for myself.
In my dreams, I picture myself entirely disconnected from reality. I was at a place with great scenery and I stood there, pretending to think. Everyone that walk by, would wonder and dying to know what was going through my head. Then, a documentary about a prominent thinker would appear in Hollywood. About a man, that spends his day thinking. Both inspirational and emotional, my name would be engraved in people heart. Making myself immortal but... the chance of it to ever happen is unlikely.
Fuzzy was sitting at the back of the corner of the class. She often spends her time looking at the sky. Perhaps imagining faces and stories on those puffy clouds. Lately, there have been numerous rumour that her boyfriend Shane cheated on her. I was staring at her and as my mind wonder around the bushes of thought, a note was slipped on my table. “Gay”. Ummm, okay and I crushed the note.
School ended and as usual I took the road by the forest. Yes it was a bit dangerous but I was bored and didn’t think much. I wondered alone, thinking about Fuzzy. I listed her name on the mediocre popular people list (I create).
Fuzzy: Mediocre Popular
Personality type: Boring, Reclusive, Shy,
Looks: Mediocre Beautiful,
Favourite Colour: Assuming Blue(Like to look at the sky)
Romance between us : Likely(If the rumour were true)
Next Day at school;
During History class, Fuzzy notice that I stare her. Our eyes intertwined and I forgot to look away. As soon I grasped reality, I immediately escape our eye contact. I became nervous. After class, I made my escape and ran to the school roof. I thought I was safe but she came to the roof top too. The mood around us were like attending someone funeral. Quiet but intense, it was uncomfortable. Perhaps I was nervous. To break the mood around us, I made the first move.”Good ?”. Oh shit, I forgot to say morning. I fell some cold droplets of sweat stream down my face.
She didn’t reply. She was close. Slowly she came close and closer. So close, you couldn’t get any closer. Our lips touch. It tasted unfamiliar and I could smell her breath. I pulled her closer to me. The world which I hate constantly seems to fade away and I found myself in a place entirely disconnected from reality. At least, it was until I started thinking again. And just like that the kiss was over. With her soft hand, she hold my face and said ”I don’t want to be late for Math class”.
What is this? Are playing with me, using me. All I did in math class is thinking about that kiss. Maybe drooling some saliva in the process but who cares.
Reality hits.(After several days)
I drew her face on my notebook. It was chemistry class and nothing interest me now other than Fuzzy. I started with her eyes, that was the most interesting part of her face. Somehow, I sense that she depict a false character in the eye of the society. Inside her, lies someone who are afraid of people. My buddy caught me red handed and was utterly excited as he now know that I have a crush toward Fuzzy. The book spread fast and I couldn’t control it. In the end, it reaches her and all I could see was a spontaneous smile on her face. The teacher who is half Canada tried to control the class but she always fail miserably.
A note slip into my notebook reading ”Meet me by the lake after school, Fuzzy”. At any moment I could be singing, I can’t keep this feeling in disguise. This matter is urgent, everything is secondary now.
I exited the school as quickly as I could, ignoring the incoming storm. And I look, there was something. An early summer where she was standing. I fell in love, for such a sight I caught in the middle of the storm.
“I can’t figure out what I need to do. Perhaps my mind are so caught up with the notion that you exist. And I always found myself, having an unfamiliar excitement whenever I’m around you. The prospect of seeing you everyday in the corner of the class will continue to excite me. How strange that you don’t realize, that you are fascinatingly strange.
Always miserably fascinated by you: Neonip ”