Am I so Bad?

I've gain so much weight since the incident
It was so easy, but I never thought that it would be that hard to lose it
I never thought that I would mind those bullies
Those comments and those hurtful words that they always call me
It's more painful than the blade that crosses against my skin
It's more painful than the punches and the slaps
And now when I think about it...
It was more painful than what happened before
Was it even worth it?
Was it worth doing those horrible things?
Saying those horrible words?
They called me names and they would even make rhymes
They think its just a joke that anyone could laugh at
But I'm not even that anyone
For them..
I'm nobody
Anonymous
They never really ever call me by my real name
Just slut, an ugly whore, worthless b*tch, and just anything that doesn't even rhyme with my name
Does any of them even know
No one calls me by my name
Not even my parents
Cause they can't even say anything to me anymore
They would tell me that they left me because I was a mistake
Sometimes I never even talk back or argue
Sometimes I agree
...
Maybe not sometimes
All the time
...
Every minute
And every second
This is what it feels like being a teenager like me
All the devils around you
Whispering your flaws and reminding you your mistakes
Aren't we all just the same
Aren't we all equal people who does things that we regret
Why am I all that different?
Just because what I look like
Just because of my different shape
Is that so bad?
Am I so bad?
....